So I get enough courage to ask her out .........and.......she's busy


Like I said before.

Chapter 1. Don’t be the kind of guy that has to read a book to figure out a woman…

It would be all blank pages except for those two facts. :slight_smile:

Thank you :slight_smile: and thank you for the support.

It isn’t just getting courage to ask a girl out.

What have you done to peak her interest in you romantically? Have you flirted with her?

You need to build up romantic attraction for any hope for this to succeed.

Absolutely. And I get a chance regularly.

I’m doing my best. I make it obvious that I’m noticing her every time we are in the same room. Give her a friendly smile presenting myself very well with appearance etc. she knows I’m very interested.

Wife was just lurking over my shoulder… she says you mostly hit the wrong time of the year and the see you Saturday wasn’t the “kiss-of-death” but a call me later when things settle.

I trust my wife of some 20+ years to read this…

also she wife says:
SHAVE and SHOWER everyday - women have hypersmell (and I think she’s right)! If you have a beard/mustache then keep it trim and proper and use conditioner on it to keep it soft.
But that’s just my wife right :confused:

Praying for you

Well I see her every week when we get together with friends. She is keeping her distance and she hasn’t said no. I think she is enjoying being pursued.

What , you mean people don’t shave and shower every day?


you’d think water was lava to my 12 year old… funny, as a baby she hated the water, then she loved it, and now she’ll avoid a shower like it was a flogging.

yep… I have worked with a few… :shrug:

hmmm the chase… I remember those days… now days I lay in the sun and dream of the old days. Let the young pups chase he rabbits, I’ll take my nice warm sun and a snooze.

Flirt, coffee

to be honest with you I dont enjoy the chase,
the flirting is fun, the sooner we go on a date the better.

I would at least add “chocolate, flowers, and jewelry…and jewelry works best.” :smiley:

Oh, and maybe also some pictures for us really slow guys to color but no connect-the-dots 'cause I’ve never got the hang of this when it comes to understanding women (wife of 42 years included) :confused:

:smiley: Though humorous this kind of illustrates my point.

My wife hates jewlery, flowers and chocolates. Even we dated.

What she likes is what a human likes. Conversation, attention, caring, letting her feel like she is loved.

And that is the mistake I wish I knew when I was single. It is NOT about flowers, chocolates and jewelry, though some people (notice I said people, not women) like thoughtful gifts. that may include those things. It is about how to connect with people and be able to grow that connection into intimate relationships. It is no secret that those who “can’t figure out the mystery of women” never seem to figure out the mystery of either sex. And by viewing them as some sort of creature that is fickle, mysterious, or tricky is really just wasting time not being focused on how to change yourself to have intimacy (not the sexual kind) with any person of any age or sex.

For the last time, the book is simple, Don’t be the kind of guy who has to read a book about women. Be the confident, person who can relate to a woman or man as a real life, flesh and blood child of God. When you separate it into sexes, you will lose.

I wonder if conditioner would help DH’s beard…I’ve just always assumed facial hair was just stiffer.

I don’t, and I’m a lovely, sweet smelling lady. Showering everyday can be very hard on the skin and hair, stripping it of it’s natural oils. I shower when I’m dirty, not on any particular schedule. My hair always looks bad on wash day, it looks much better the day after.

To the OP, chocolate, flowers, and jewelry are okay, but conversation is the winner. I still remember why my first date with DH was the best first date I ever went on. He asked me about me, and let me talk about myself, and seemed genuinely interested in ME. Made me feel like the most special woman in the world, that he wanted to know all about me.

Awwww. Can we get that cross-stitched on a pillow?

That was really good.

Gosh, I wish I knew all this 50 years ago. :slight_smile:

By the way, anyone who would like to buy a dogeared copy of Men Are Mars, Women Are From Venus can pm me. Willing to trade for a copy of Comic Toolbox: How to Be Funny Even If You’re Not.

Apologies to the moderator for my going off topic. This will be my last post here in this vein, I promise.


LOL I think it is quite relevant to the thread.

Before I get pigeonholed too much as a don juan. Let me just say that I did not know all of my amazing wisdom for most of my young teen and young adult life.

I know, I know, you are saying Gee hoosier daddy, we can’t all be so smooth and good looking as you, we can’t all carry around such machismo that we attract women like flies on poo like you do!" Let me assure you that in my teens and early 20s women were a scary mystery to me. I stared at one girl I liked in high school so much that she actually left the school because of it. I tied another one’s hair to her chair. I sat in a parked car for hours with a gorgeous girl too scared to kiss her which is EXACTLY why she suggested we park (it certainly was not the view)I was what the kids call these days, “friendzoned” more often than not. I even thought the lingerie department at the local store was a good place to try to ask a girl out… I had no idea who liked me, who didn’t and who was 5 steps from the police office to file a restraining order. It was not until I matured spiritually and intellectually and professionally that I started thinking that women were really from earth just like I was. And if you could talk to and relate to people, they were no different. The path to this realization is one you have to learn yourself. That is why there is no real book that will help. Not even this brilliant post.
It is not something that happens over night, but being able to relate to a person (man or woman) comes with time.

My future wife was a co worker of mine. One day after work on our way to our cars I asked her what she was doing that day. She said she was going to a movie with a guy. I asked if he was her boyfriend and she said, “no, not yet anyway” I could tell she was not too excited about the date. I said “Hey, why go to a movie you don’t want to see when you could come out and have some fun with me.” She said yes, and honestly we never looked back. Of course I am sure the fact that “come have fun with me” had something to do with the fact that I had a boat on the back of my truck…

My point is, it will happen someday, but you have to figure yourself out first. I see this so much on these boards. Women complain that no men like them and men complain they can’t find a woman… It all starts with self. And it all ends with recognizing that each person is not defined or boxed in by their sex and the stereotypes involved but rather is a Child of the Most High God. Deserving of love and respect.

Oh, and buy a boat, it helps…


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