So Jason wants me to leave the Church for the Mormon church in order for him to date me


#1

Hi everyone. One of my friends who I am in love with (and he is in love with me as well… he admitted this last night) wants me to leave the Catholic Church for the Mormon church in order for him to date me. He also wants me to get a “temple recommend” so him and I can go to the Mormon temple and have an eternal marriage. I want to be with him but I don’t want to leave the Church! What should I do? :shrug::confused:

By the way, he called off our previous engagement and dating because I was not Mormon yet. I don’t know what to do. I love Jason. But I don’t love him enough to leave the Church that I know to be the one true Church. At least not anymore.


#2

*I am sorry that you’re going through this Holly. I have done a lot of research on the Mormon faith, and there are some very interesting, positive rituals and traditions that they uphold. BUT, please do not leave your faith for this man. You will gravely regret that decision. No man …NO MAN is ever worth not receiving the Eucharist for, no man is worth forsaking your faith for. No man.

I would pray about this, but if he doesn’t want to marry a Catholic, and even if he was ok with that aspect, doesn’t sound like he would be accepting of raising future children as Catholic–then you might have to say goodbye to him. :frowning: You have so much to think and pray over…I’m sorry, this must be very hard …I can imagine. :hug1:

You’re in my prayers.*


#3

Yes, it is very hard Whatevergirl. And I agree that no man is worth leaving the Faith over. I crave the Eucharist. I can’t just quit receiving the Eucharist for this man. I am going to talk to him and see if he is willing to be my boyfriend and me stay Catholic. I am also going to ask him if it is ok with him if we raise our future children as Catholic. I don’t think he’ll be ok with the latter but he might be ok with the former. If he’s not ok with the latter, then I certainly can’t marry him because it is my obligation to raise any future children in the Catholic Church. Oh, and just in case you’re wondering, I’m not pregnant. I refer to future children for the hypothetical case that Jason and I were to marry and have children.


#4

You have answered your own question.

It will be hard, but you need to stop seeing him. As WEG said, NO MAN is worth leaving your Faith for, trust me I almost did this. I am married to a wonderful Catholic man who loves his Faith as much (more actually) than he loves me (I’m ok with that by the way :wink: ). I would not change this for the world. What we share together is priceless.

Be strong - you will find the RIGHT man for you. One who loves you as you are, and would NEVER ask you to compromise your beliefs just to be with him.

~Liza


#5

You know, I don’t know that I’ll ever find the right man for me or not because I may very well be called to the vocation of singleness. However, I do appreciate your comforting words. Thank you Lizaanne. :slight_smile:


#6

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. You shouldn’t carry the blame though. If he loved YOU, he should respect you and your faith enough to not put such a demand on you. He should also understand and respect your obligation to be married in a Catholic Church and to raise your children Catholic. If he cannot accept this, you should terminate the relationship now before it becomes even more painful.


#7

*Holly :hug1:

This is me, but here is my advice…do not say “would you be ok with us raising the kids Catholic?” Rather say…“I’m Catholic, and I want my kids to be raised Catholic, and if you don’t see that for your life, then we need to part ways.” I don’t mean to sound…harsh…whatever…but, making it very clear as to where you stand…that you WILL NOT be leaving the Catholic Church for him or anyone…will be better than beating around the bush. I don’t know if I would continue at this point, Holly, no matter what he might say…he has put his cards on the table. He could say…'sure no problem, let’s raise the kids Catholic," just to appease you, and then you have kids and it’s an entirely different story.

I’m so sorry–I can’t see anything improving here…short of HIM converting. Interfaith marriages are hard…BUT, many couples make them work…they don’t tell the other what to do. The thing is…do you want your husband to be Catholic? Do you want to share your faith through and through with your husband someday?

I will keep praying for you on this…but, please, whatever you do…be emphatic of where you stand. Don’t ask him questions…instead, make statements about your faith. If he wants a Mormon wife, he needs to marry a Mormon. :o

Be strong, Holly. *


#8

Thank you JB2VI. I guess you’re right. Maybe he does love me but he just doesn’t love me enough? I think that may very well be the case. He loves me but not for who I am.

Hmmm, ok. Thanks Whatevergirl. Would it be ok if I just told him that we should be friends and nothing more? Do you think that would work out? :shrug::confused:


#9

*Oh sure–why not? He sounds like a very nice person, I would imagine you wouldn’t be in love with him if he wasn’t. I think that would be wise, if that is what YOU want to do…I am coming across like a mom right now, I’m so sorry! Forgive me. :o But, I tell my own kids this…(I have a 13 yr old daughter and 16 yr old son–DO NOT EVER LET ANYONE KEEP YOU FROM RECEIVING THE EUCHARIST) I also tell them, if a person wants you to convert to another faith for him/her, that person is not God’s will for your life.

I feel strongly about these things. I married a Catholic man, I personally didn’t want to deal with not sharing my faith 100% with my spouse. Now, have people converted to Catholicism after marriage? Yes…but, he seems to feel very strongly about YOU converting to Mormonism. That is why I don’t see it working out in a marriage.*


#10

As a man, I’d ring true with what other female posters here are saying and say NO to him.

Never deny Jesus, and His Catholic Church. You should deny the whole world and forsake your life for Jesus. So this guy is just one of the obstacles you will face in your path of faith.

Let him go, or tell him how you feel and see what happens.


#11

I have to disagree a bit here. What purpose would it serve to just remain friends if you have been THIS close? I’m not saying NEVER be friends, but right now to go from being in love to just being friendly can be very difficult and foster a false hope in him that you will “come around” if he just waits long enough. I don’t think it’s fair to ether one of you.

Now - if after some time passes and you two have been apart and not seeing each other and things have cooled off, then perhaps a friendship could be an option. But when he’s still in love with you, saying “just be friends” can be extremely difficult.

~Liza


#12

Sweet Holly, when a person starts this sort of thing, they are manipulating you. You deserve better.

It is ok to love, as this is what Jesus calls us to do. Keep the love you have for this person in you heart, but cut the strings that tie you to him.

May I also recommend a book?

Is it possible to live this way?


#13

Oh ok. Thank you for your advice Whatevergirl.

Thank you for your advice J2c99. I appreciate it.

Hmmm, so you think I should just sever the friendship as well? :shrug::confused:

Should I cut all strings, including the strings of friendship? :shrug::confused:


#14

If your faith is very important to you…DO NOT leave the church for a man…you will regret it!


#15

For now, yes. Until you can both be together as FRIENDS, and not have the tension of love between you.

This is only my opinion - I’ve been down this path before. I was engaged to marry a man whom I was very much in love with. He broke up with me because I was too Catholic. It made it so very hard for me to be around him for a very long time, we both still loved each other very much. It was not until years later that I was able to be near him without feeling that attraction, and I know he felt the same way. Now we are both married (to others), and that tension is gone, for me any way. But I don’t think we ever could have remained just friends if we continued to spend time together after breaking up - it would have been impossible to move on.

~Liza


#16

Exactly!

For what shall it profit a (wo)man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of (her)his soul?

God Bless


#17

Dear Holly,
I think you answered your own question:rolleyes:
besides lets think about this…he if really loved you that much, he would respect your Catholic faith that means so much to you.:yup:


#18

If I were in your shoes, I would say he sounds like a good guy to be dating, but not to be married to. I’m sure he has strong feelings for you and you for him, but it takes a bit more than that to make a successful marriage. Not to trivialize what you feel for him, but any nice guy can make for a great date, but not every nice guy can make for a good marriage. For that to work, it needs to be taken to another step in terms of compatablility and whatnot. I would present it to him by saying, “You know I love you, but you cannot ask me to abandon my faith, anymore than I could ask you to abandon yours.”


#19

Thanks everyone for your advice. It is greatly appreciated.


#20

Need anything else be said? I am praying for you Holly.


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