I need your guys thoughts. I’ve never been one to be good at social intereactions and everyone keeps talking about boundaries and chastity and all that.
physical chastity I get, what what about emotional chastity? I thought that usually included things like daydreaming about th eother person or fantasies and all that.
before you guys start thinking I don’t have boundaries, the opposite scenario is what’s happening. I don’t know how to talk to people, how to open up. and now many cahtolics say “oh, you especially can’t talk to guys because there’s no such thing as platonic friendship”
and now I’m getting in to the demographic where a lot of people I’m meeting are getting married or already are.
if you want some background information, my dad had an affair when I was 11, this caused my mom to go crazy. she still freaks out if he so much as says hi to another female and she doesn’t allow him to exchange the sign of peace at church. she refused any female clients who wanted to rent our basement suite. This is also a big reason why I’m not allowed to bring friends over the house either because she thinks my dad will go after them.
and before anyone says it, no, it’s not because my dad had female friends of his own, he didn’t. one lday was a neighbour who had just moved in recently and another was an acquaintance of my mom’s. my mom had gone back to china for a month to take care of some important things and he apparently “felt lonely”
growing up I also wasn’t allowed to have sleepovers because my mom was afraid any male in my friends’ houses would rape me or I would get drugged or poisoined or something like that
so this is the environment I grew up in. needless to say, this has caused me a lot of issues. I’m trying to move on, come out from under this dark cloud of suspicion and mistrust that has been hanging over me all this time
just to get told by fellow catholics all the same things that I’m trying to get past. you can’t have male friends, especially if they’re married, you also need to be careful of female friends because if they’re married, you wouldn’t want to tempt their husbands, etC… well, I tend to be more interested in things that are considered more of guy things, so I just don’t know what to do
and then, everyone keeps saying how female and male friends are different and need different boundaries. so you guys, tell me, how is it different and what boundaries are we talking about.
I’m tired of being afraid of sin around every corner. I does intimacy entail exactly?would never let myself get caught in a situation like that and I wouldn’t lead anyone else on either. there’s a lot of talk about intimacy only be reserved for spouses. but what does intimacy entail exactly?
when I do talk to people, I usually cover the sameink I even know what friendship is supposed to be. I think I only have acquaintances at this point. topics with guys and girls. maybe I’m just not open enough about personal stuff with anyone. when people say they have ‘best friends", I dont’ even know what tha means.