[quote="SusanneT, post:1, topic:244529"]
I'd be interested to hear of people's experiences here. It started the moment we had our second child and became a serious issue after no three. Almost complete strangers seem to want to tell me to have a coil or my tubes tied and my husband is endlessly told he should have a vasectomy.
My doctor knows beter and is very supportive and our close friends know what we believe (even if they find it difficult to understand) but others take one look at our family and remark - do you find this ?
We have four and go through this all the time. However, with us it's family, not friends. I should point out that it's from our lifelong Catholic part of the family. "Don't you know what causes that? Shouldn't one of you be fixed by now? Don't you dare even think of having another!" We've been reminded that they make pills/condoms that will stop "that sort of thing." We received absolutely no sympathy from the bulk of the family when we had our miscarriage, and were treated to constant looks of absolute disgust throughout our entire last pregnancy from a couple of them. When we show up to family functions now, we're ignored completely by some, and have cleared entire rooms with our presence. A handful of them have yet to acknowledge that our daughter exists, even though they've been in the same room--sat at the same table, even--as her more than a few times. Since she was born, we've gotten together with the family at local restaurants a few times and they go as far as moving and rearranging chairs and tables so that we can't sit with the rest of the family (they even did this when my wife was still recovering from her C-section, leaving only a small table on the far side of the room for the two of us, requiring her to walk about 50 extra feet). The most recent time this happened, we showed up, said hi, one person responded while the rest didn't even look our way. We sat at our little side table, ate dinner, got up, said goodbye and nobody responded. Later that night I got a call from my mother who wanted to know if everything was okay because she had gotten several reports about how rude we'd been, with one person telling her that if we were going to treat people like that we shouldn't show up to family gatherings. Although some of them have always treated us pretty bad, this absurd level of treatment started as soon as the baby was born. I'm running out of reasons to show up to family gatherings at this point.