Some 30 families have left


#1

Now I understand why some 30 families have left our parish. Most of these families have home schooled their children, and with this in mind my belief of this is, they want to give their children the best possible start in life, this begins with education and the love and bond of mothers with their children. I have not home schooled my children, but I have never been a working mother. I just believe as a child it is a wonderful feeling to come home to a mother.
Our parish had vacant adjoining land, and would appreciate any income in paying loans from major renovations made to the parish. You may have guessed by now, where this is going, Yes, they built a childcare centre. The parish is collecting rent from this.
This has disgusted alot of parishioners, and the attendace is thinning out.
Just my venting.

shae


#2

is it remotely possible that your parish is responding to legitimate needs of parishioners and other residents within your parish boundaries who do not have the luxury of staying at home with their young children, let alone the capabilities to home school? In my own parish, and perhaps in yours, a large proportion of our children are in single parent homes for whatever reason, and that parent must work. It would be a fine thing if we did have the resources to provide trustworthy child care for them (and incidentally create jobs for those who need them).

I am unable to determine why the 30 families you reference should feel that somehow the decisions of other parents on how best to meet their family’s needs should impact their decision on which parish to support. It is also a stretch for me to figure out why this issue is being discussed on the liturgy forum


#3

Not a kennel for children! :eek: That is terrible. There is never an excuse for the Church to be making money off of child kennels. There is an old Italian saying. Friend - Friend. Busines -Business.
Seems to me that these 30 families are justified in finding new parishes (friends).


#4

[quote=contemplative]Not a kennel for children! :eek: That is terrible. There is never an excuse for the Church to be making money off of child kennels. There is an old Italian saying. Friend - Friend. Busines -Business.
Seems to me that these 30 families are justified in finding new parishes (friends).
[/quote]

Maybe my sarcasm radar is a little off this morning. Please tell me this is your attempt at humor… it it is not, I can’t begin to respond to this comment in a charitable way!


#5

[quote=contemplative]Not a kennel for children! :eek: That is terrible. There is never an excuse for the Church to be making money off of child kennels. …).
[/quote]

My grand daughter attended a wonderful day care center connected to the hospital I work at. She was there from a few months of age until 5. She learned as a toddler, sign language. She learned manners. She learned to speak Spanish. She learned many social skills and she learned about friendship.

I am sorry if you have had a bad experience with day care. If you haven’t then please spare us the sarcasm. Not everyone has the good fortune to be a home schooling , stay at home mom.

~ Kathy ~


#6

[quote=Shae]Now I understand why some 30 families have left our parish. Most of these families have home schooled their children, and with this in mind my belief of this is, they want to give their children the best possible start in life, this begins with education and the love and bond of mothers with their children. I have not home schooled my children, but I have never been a working mother. I just believe as a child it is a wonderful feeling to come home to a mother.
Our parish had vacant adjoining land, and would appreciate any income in paying loans from major renovations made to the parish. You may have guessed by now, where this is going, Yes, they built a childcare centre. The parish is collecting rent from this.
This has disgusted alot of parishioners, and the attendace is thinning out.
Just my venting.

shae
[/quote]

You say they are renting this location out?? does this mean it won’t be run by the Church? If so, then I agree it is a shame. There is such a great need for CATHOLIC teaching, that I would have a serious problem with our parish doing this. Now, if it is a Catholic run facility teaching the faith through out it’s programs - that’s would be great! I wouldn’t put my children there, but could certainly see it as a needed outreach of the Church to our society. Far too many of the Church’s schools are in-name only - the opening of a center that isn’t would be a welcome breath of fresh air.


#7

I make no apologies for my reply. When my children were young my DH and I made sacrifices to keep them home and not with a mob of children behind a chainlink fence. I associate chain link fences (or fences of this kind )with dog kennels.
If the parish had a need for child care for single unwed mothers they might have found stay-at-home mothers in the parish willing to take a child or two in for care. Building a child care center sends out the wrong message. By doing this the Church is encouraging mothers to dump their kids behind fences to go earn an extra buck…to do what???..in this case supplement the parishes income needs. :tsktsk:

I know an affluent mother who does not need to work … and doesn’t …yet she still dumps her kids in daycare so she can have the day to herself. Her poor husband picks up the kids from the center when he comes home from work. :tsktsk:


#8

The Sisters in our town run a wonderful child care/preschool.


#9

We can’t really say why 30 families leave. It MAY be the daycare center but it is also possible that if the parish is too “progressive” it would rub the homeschoolers the wrong way.

I myself agree that parents should make sacrifices and do without so that one of them can stay home. Far too many with jobs and not careers are working and the numbers usually show they are actually worse off financially. We need to help an unwed, divorced or widowed parent provide for their kids but not to encourage a hedonistic lifestyle. I am shocked at the wealthy people I know who say that TWO is all they can afford. Each situation is unique but my grandmother raised nine kids in the Depression on her husband’s policeman’s salary. Having steady work made life easier for them but they were not loaded by any stretch.

I think calling daycare a child kennel is inflammatory and you get off the merits of the case by name calling. If you are right, argue your point with reason and facts. I think you are right but remember insults are the sign of a tired mind.

I have been a SAHD for the last 6 1/2 years. I do not hs and our oldest is in our neighborhood public school.


#10

[quote=contemplative]If the parish had a need for child care for single unwed mothers they might have found stay-at-home mothers in the parish willing to take a child or two in for care. Building a child care center sends out the wrong message. By doing this the Church is encouraging mothers to dump their kids behind fences to go earn an extra buck…to do what???..in this case supplement the parishes income needs. :tsktsk:

[/quote]

That seems like a large assumption to make that this daycare (or daycare in general) is solely for single unwed mothers. What about young widows and mothers who work? I’m sure daycare is not their first choice, but we should judge or make any assumptions about their intentions.

Also, I don’t understand why it is bad for the parish to do something like this to supplement their income. So long as they are using the money towards the good of the church, I don’t see what is so wrong.


#11

There are people who are single parents for a variety of reasons. They cannot just marry the first person that comes along, and they MUST work, or there will be no food on the table. They are trying to do their best, even if they messed up before this. What on earth should these people do for child care? They can go to ToddlerMart or KinderKaboodle, and pay upwards of $200 a week- which is about what some of them make a week. They can attempt to get government assistance- works in some areas, in others they make way too much.

So…Without more information, I don’t know if the daycare situation in question is good, bad or indifferent.

I know our parish has one of the best extended care and preschool programs in the area, and the only one that takes potty-trained 3 year olds. These little ones are better off in the care of the wonderful women who run the program than in what amounts to a chain store.


#12

I make no apologies for my reply.

If you had any spirit of charity or humility, you would.


#13

I would hope that the childcare center would be staffed by Catholics who will provide a loving, Christian atomosphere for those who need this service. I am thankful that I have never need anyone else to care for my children… I think it is almost ALWAYS best that children under 5 are cared for by their parents, and not strangers - BUT, I cannot tell a young, unwed mother that she should NOT abort her baby and then 9 months later judge her for needing to work to be able to provide for her child.


#14

[quote=contemplative]I make no apologies for my reply. When my children were young my DH and I made sacrifices to keep them home and not with a mob of children behind a chainlink fence. I associate chain link fences (or fences of this kind )with dog kennels.
If the parish had a need for child care for single unwed mothers they might have found stay-at-home mothers in the parish willing to take a child or two in for care. Building a child care center sends out the wrong message. By doing this the Church is encouraging mothers to dump their kids behind fences to go earn an extra buck…to do what???..in this case supplement the parishes income needs. :tsktsk:

I know an affluent mother who does not need to work … and doesn’t …yet she still dumps her kids in daycare so she can have the day to herself. Her poor husband picks up the kids from the center when he comes home from work. :tsktsk:
[/quote]

How’s the weather up there on your soap box?

                        ~ Kathy ~

#15

[quote=contemplative] I make no apologies for my reply. When my children were young my DH and I made sacrifices to keep them home and not with a mob of children behind a chainlink fence.
[/quote]

None of the Day Cares my eldest son attended had a chain link fence:D and there where never MOBS of children.
I am soooo happy that you & your DH could have the kids stay at home with you…all of us are NOT THAT LUCKY to have this option!

Contemplative-
Perhaps as another poster suggested…[Edit: relax and play nice]
Not all of us have or had the chance you do…SOME OF US NEED TO WORK TO SUPPORT OUR FAMILIES and the only way to accomplish this is to have our kids in Day Care.


#16

[quote=contemplative]I make no apologies for my reply. When my children were young my DH and I made sacrifices to keep them home and not with a mob of children behind a chainlink fence. I associate chain link fences (or fences of this kind )with dog kennels.

[/quote]

so your 30 families are reacting to a chain link fence, not any matter of Catholic doctrine or practice, and are leaving the church because of it. some faith.
a day care center that does not have a fence around its outside play area is inviting tragedy, and is probably violating a local code or ordinance. for that matter, homeschooling parents who send they pre-school children outside to play unsuperived in a yard without a fence are also being very naive and setting up a tragic situation. it takes only seconds for a child to run into a street, drown in an inch of standing water, or be snatched by a predator.

very nice you 30 families have no need for moms to work and resort to day care, wish we were all so lucky. some of us have not that advantage and face the choice between work and welfare. Some of us work for the Catholic Church in some capacity and are paid so little that we qualify for food stamps and subsidized day care. That was our situation when our children were little.


#17

Notice:
Please do not make ad hominem attacks on other posters. Several posts have been deleted or edited for non-charitable remarks; don’t let this happen again or the thread will be closed and suspensions given as required.

This is Advent; act like you’re preparing for the coming of Christ the King. If you wish to engage in fruitful dialog, use reason to support your arguments and present your case with charity and love (1 Cor 13); do not resort to belittling or derogatory comments.

Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary


#18

I haven’t received a response to my post and I think that would clear up much of the debate here. It seems most of the posters aren’t so much upset about a child ctr. being opened as the Church not being the in control of it - kwim?


I think many would see this as making money off a secular institution and don’t like it - myself included.


Now, if we’re discussing a CATHOLIC institution to reach the youngest in the parish - I think many would understand that could be a good thing, especially for children who would otherwise not get the faith in secular institutions.

[quote=Rob’s Wife]You say they are renting this location out?? does this mean it won’t be run by the Church? If so, then I agree it is a shame. There is such a great need for CATHOLIC teaching, that I would have a serious problem with our parish doing this. Now, if it is a Catholic run facility teaching the faith through out it’s programs - that’s would be great! I wouldn’t put my children there, but could certainly see it as a needed outreach of the Church to our society. Far too many of the Church’s schools are in-name only - the opening of a center that isn’t would be a welcome breath of fresh air.
[/quote]


#19

I don’t understand how any Catholic can be upset about a Cathoic parish running a daycare center? This is a badly needed ministry in the Church! Yes, there are some married woman who HAVE to work whether they like it or not. And it isn’t always because of money. Some mothers want to stay home and can’t because their husbands won’t let them stay home. I personally know women in this situation and it is very hard on them. So let’s not pass judgement on Catholic woman looking for day care.

There have been times I have needed to put my kids in daycare and I have been extremely frustrated that the only place I can put my kids where they will learn anything about God is in a PROTESTANT run program. If my kids have to be there (I am not comfortable with putting my kids in a strangers home where there is no oversight), I want them learning their Catholic Faith while they are there and there are no Catholic programs around where I can send them for daycare.


#20

[quote=puzzleannie]is it remotely possible that your parish is responding to legitimate needs of parishioners and other residents within your parish boundaries who do not have the luxury of staying at home with their young children, let alone the capabilities to home school?
[/quote]

Luxury? I wouldn’t consider staying at home a luxury. My wife stays at home. We don’t take vacations to the Bahamas or Europe or even Cancun. We have never owned a new car. We only bought our first house ten years into our marriage. A mother staying at home is anything but a luxury. It is a great sacrifice for the family, but the benefits of children being raised by their parents as opposed to strangers far outweigh the advantages of having a second income.


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