I’m 17 this year, and I’ve been discerning vocation to Diocesan Priesthood for about a year now.
Funny enough, I was never really that involved in Parish work, despite being a traditional “Cradle Catholic”, my mum being staunchly Catholic, until I joined Youth Ministry about a year ago. Before that, I was not serious about my faith, so I was actually quite surprised that God would ever want me to be a priest, if He does.
But that’s not the point. The last few years, before my own interior conversion experience at my Confirmation retreat (which brought me to the open arms of Youth Ministry), I was openly leading a carnal life. The usual temptations (lust, masturbation, porn) prevailed strongly in my life. At some point, I struggled with my own sexuality, having experienced SSA. It got to a point that I would fall to my temptations daily, and it culminated in my first and only sexual experience. While we didn’t actually do the deed, there was heavy levels of physical intimacy involved. So I was pretty much dead in the spirit back then.
But after Confirmation Camp, I dunno… I guess the experience I had with Jesus was just so strong that I just knew I had to give up my sins. I knew I would never find peace until I rid myself of my temptations. After months of prayer and staying involved in the Ministry, I managed to control my urges.My sexuality, well, I’m starting to think Im a bit asexual (I’ve only ever had one true crush in the last 17 years) Yes, I still fall occasionally but somehow I, or rather, Christ always picks me back up. So Praise God for that!!!
But at the start of the year, after entering a new school, I guess my mind began pondering questions like where should I go next, what university to go, that sort of thing.
So one day, I prayed my Rosary as usual, and just out of the blue, the thought of entering priesthood entered my mind.
Of course I was taken aback, “O God, I am not worthy!”
But then, when I broached the idea to some close friends, (one of whom was even a Muslim), and my mother, and they were all supportive, some of my friends even told me, “With the work your doing at Youth Ministry, I’m not surprised”.
So yeah, since then, I’ve been praying more and more about it, and I’m becoming more and more confident that God may be calling me to Priesthood. More and more signs are coming when I pray, people, especially from Ministry are affirming me and encouraging me on, and since I first heard the call, I guess, as Saint Augustine so lovingly said, “My heart is restless til it rests in you, O God?”
But yeah, my question is, with the kind of past I’ve had, do you really think I could ever become a priest? I mean, I know that with God’s grace all is possible but what do you think? Because most of the priests I know all seem to be from birth “Church-y” people. A lot of them were altar servers, Legion of Mary etc from young, so who am I, someone who started out so far away from the Church, to stand with them as brothers?
Thanks, and sorry for the long post
Yours, in Christ