Someone just sent me this joke & I thought you all would enjoy it


#1

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, “You know, I hardly ever get to drive.
Would you please let me?”

The driver is understandably hesitant and says, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m supposed to do that.

But the Pope persists, “Please?” The driver finally lets up. “Oh, all right, I can’t really say no to the Pope.

So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speedster! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.

The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.

Cop: Chief, I have a problem.

Chief: What sort of problem?

Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it’s someone really important.

Chief: Important like the mayor?

Cop: No, no, much more important than that.

Chief: Important like the governor?

Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.

Chief: Like the president?

Cop: More.

Chief: Who’s more important than the president?

Cop: I don’t know, but he’s got the Pope driving for him!


#2

That’s very cute. :stuck_out_tongue:

Have you heard this one, before?

An atheist was walking through the woods, admiring all the “accidents” that evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals” he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw the grizzly was closing. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes.

He looked again and the bear was even closer, His heart was pounding and he tried to run faster. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him. “OH MY GOD!..”

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky,

“YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS,
TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON’T EXIST AND EVEN
CREDIT CREATION TO A COSMIC ACCIDENT.
DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS
PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?”

VERY WELL" said the voice.

The light went out.

The river ran.

The sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped down on his knees then brought both paws together and bowed his head, made the Sign of the Cross, and spoke:

“Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts …"


#3

2 for 1! :rotfl:


#4

The Pope’s secretary get a phone call. The caller asks to speak to the Pope himself, and after some back and forth with the secretary, the call is put through.

The caller is our Lord. The Pope speaks reverently to Him, and asks the reason for the call.

Our Lord says, “I have some good news for you, and some bad.”

The Pope doesn’t know what to say, so Our Lord continues.

“The good news is, I’ve returned. The bad news is… I’m in Salt Lake City.”

The Pope faints.


#5

Here’s a funny one, from our Protestant friends, I’ve heard on a few occasions:

[From this site, among others:]

christianstories.com/stories/funny/mark17.shtml

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”


closed #6

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