I consider myself a pretty faithful catholic guy but and most days are normal and I go about my normal life. I think of God often and his will in my life. Every now and then though when either watching the news or someone close to me dies or I read an article about death in biological terms it makes me anxious because even though I am faithful, I still fear the unknown a lot. Not terribly but sometimes I do wonder what would happen if there was nothing after death and that was it.
I hate to think that would ever be the case and I just feel life has a much greater purpose than to suddenly be the end of everything for the individual that dies. Understandably I guess if that were the case the person’s consciousness would cease to exist and they wouldn’t notice. Still it’s hard for me to grasp that even though mysteries of death require faith in God only. No science or medical theory will ever probably prove what happens to a person’s conscience either way when someone dies.
I was just thinking about all this tonight and it seems really dark and cold to think of the athiest’s viewpoint that this life is it. It makes me value this life even more and the time I spend with loved ones which is good but even so I couldn’t imagine living life firmly believing that nothing awaits you after death and you will never see your loved ones who either passed before you or after you. I would be constantly depressed I would think.
I consider my faith strong but I hate how it wavers sometimes when the thought of death comes up and I wish I would not have any anxieties about it. I attend confession once a month to do my best to be in God’s grace but sometimes I wish I could see a loved one who passed away or even a ghost to just verify and add comfort and confidence that there is something else even though my faith should be all that’s required.
I’m scientifically minded as I am an engineering student so I’m always thinking about the how’s and why’s and what’s of life and the unknowns and sometimes it shakes my faith a little bit but not as much as it use to. I trust God and Jesus but at the same time that "what if "even small is still there.
I’d like to think the human consciousness is much more than a mass of neural cells arranged in neural networks and chemical reactions and dies when the brain dies. All of my life and even still now I really think there is a soul that is in the driver’s seat of the body and it simply exits upon death like we would get out of a car when it breaks down. Even though it can never be proven.
Can anyone relate? Anyone have anything to share? I’d appreciate any replies.