Somewhat Confused.. Forplay Between Husband/Wife w/ No Sex?


#1

I am a bit confused on what is allowed between a husband and wife, as far as foreplay, when they do not intend to have sex? I guess what I really need to know is when does it cross the line and become a sin?:shrug:

This is especially frustrating since my husband is not a religious man and does not understand why the church has any say in the sex life of a married couple. Can anyone clarify?


#2

The general rule my wife and I follow is that if the action would normally lead to intercourse, we avoid it. For example, we kiss and caress, but that would not normally lead to intercourse in and of itself. If we touch each other in a more intimate way, or in a way that is designed to bring one of us to climax, then that would be an action that would normally lead to intercourse.

I'll pray for your husband and you to find some resolution in his questioning. Skepticism can be a healthy first step towards the faith. Try and educate him as best you can.


#3

I think that, if the activity is meant to be a sexual release or end unto itself, that's not OK. Like, bringing yourself or your husband to satisfaction, it's an act unto itself.

However, I think if it is meant to be a prelude to later intercourse, that is OK. What I mean is, you don't have to intend to have sex right that minute, but if you are for example, planning on being intimate later after the kids are in bed or when you get home from work, it's OK to set up some anticipation. I know that it is sometimes fun to spend the day in anticipation of being intimate later, so a deep kiss or some caressing etc., in the morning before you leave can really "get you in the mood" for later, and it means you are sort of making a date to make love later. Then, when you get home you are not starting from zero if you know what I mean! :)


#4

Thanks for the replies. :)

I didn't go to confession yesterday because I felt guilty that my husband and I engaged in mild foreplay (no climaxing). I didn't think it was a mortal sin but I thought I should still refrain. :blush:


#5

[quote="dailey, post:4, topic:226828"]
Thanks for the replies. :)

I didn't go to confession yesterday because I felt guilty that my husband and I engaged in mild foreplay (no climaxing). I didn't think it was a mortal sin but I thought I should still refrain. :blush:

[/quote]

God created you and your husband in part to be close and to be intimate with each other. Allegorically, you are a part of him, taken from his side. Bottom line my take is that if your husband climaxes, it should be inside you in one place only (trying to avoid being too explicit, I assume we all know where.) But other than that ultimate restriction, it is not clear to me that there is any other restriction. The Church requires that the act culminate in a way that is procreative.


#6

[quote="kbachler, post:5, topic:226828"]
God created you and your husband in part to be close and to be intimate with each other. Allegorically, you are a part of him, taken from his side. Bottom line my take is that if your husband climaxes, it should be inside you in one place only (trying to avoid being too explicit, I assume we all know where.) But other than that ultimate restriction, it is not clear to me that there is any other restriction. The Church requires that the act culminate in a way that is procreative.

[/quote]

I would agree with this post. Once we are married we are free to enjoy each others bodies and souls. Showing each other love for each other should be celebrated in the marriage. Because we are sharing that love physically, emotionally and spiritually it makes it all the more beautiful.


#7

Thanks again for the responses!:) I really appreciate it.


#8

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