Son is confused


#1

My 12 year old son was born to two cradle Catholics, baptized in a Catholic Church and attends Catholic school. About 3 years ago, mother decided to join Methodist church, and insists on having our son attend church with her 1x per month. She tells our son he is Catholic and Methodist, I have told my son he cannot be Catholic and another religion. It is correct to say he attends two churches, but he is only of the Catholic faith. My son prefers the Catholic Church.
Am I correct in telling my son he cannot be Catholic and another religion? Will he have to make a decision when it comes time for the sacrament of Confirmation?
Thanks for any help and guidance.


#2

I’m not Latin, but belong to the Orthodox, but I think we’re on the same page on this one. If you son was baptized Catholic, he is Catholic. Period. If you both became Methodist, he would still be Catholic until you turned him out of it.

Somebody said something about serving two masters, and no, you cannot be Catholic and something else.

I my own situation, sometime after the divorce the ex started going to a megachurch (she was thrown out of our parish, and evidently outwore her welcome at two others) and took our sons. They refer to it as her church, “the church where we don’t pray.”

As far as Confirmation, they way the Latins define that sacrament, yes, he’ll have to make a decision but as you describe it that decision has already been made.


#3

Well golly, I wasn’t aware that Methodists are of a different religion! I’ll be sure to inform John Wesley of that when I see him in heaven. :rolleyes:

You can learn a lot from other church groups. Be glad for that.

Eventually your boy will make his own decision regardless of what you do. I don’t believe that a Methodist confirmation involves confessing anything contrary to Catholic doctrine, because they’re much more relaxed in their dogma, but the converse does not hold true. Because of that your boy will not be able to hold membership in both churches simultaneously.


#4

I’m Irish I would never forgive my son if he professed a protestant religion. I would make it clear to my wife and my son the hurt it would cause me. No you absolutely can’t be Catholic and Methodist.


#5

And what is your authority for saying this, other than being Irish?

Edwin


#6

My authority for saying it is I’m on a message board and I posted it under my username. Now go ahead and prove how one can be Catholic and a professed methodist, this will be interesting…


#7

“I’m here because I’m trying to become more Catholic in my religious beliefs and practices”.

If that is your objective, then you will have to forget about being a Methodist. One cannot truly be of more than one faith. If you wish to become “Catholic” this encommpases certain beliefs not subscribed to by protestants. The Real Presence, auricular confession, Papal infallibility, Purgatory. All articles of Faith that must be assented to. Methodists have more “freedom”, but possess only parts of the truth. The Catholic Church possesses the fulness of faith.


#8

Welcome all you new members!

To the OP, remember, there is only One Church and your son was baptised in it. He just happens to be attending a worship service outside of mass with your blessing. Also, if you remain true to your responsibility to raise him Catholic in all aspects, with love and respect for the Church and his brothers and sisters, he shouldn’t have the need (more importantly, the desire) to change his mind as an adult. And yes, by the time confirmation comes around in just a few short years, it shouldn’t even occur to him not to receive the sacrament. By the way, as his Father, you do have a major responsibilty…you are officially the caretaker of the souls in your family while here on earth. This is a serious thing but what a gift from the Lord to you!

I’m sure you will receive loads of good hearted advice from many posters far more knowledgeable and spiritual than myself. :slight_smile:

God Bless you and keep you on the right path…the blessings abound and there for the simple task of praying to Our Father and remembering to decrease so that He can increase…


#9

It’s not a quetion of learning. You can learn a lot by going to synagogue, mosque, budhdhsit temple, etc. (and I have), but you can’t be Jewish/muslim/budhdhist combo. It’s not what you know but what you are.

Somehow I get the impression that mom in the OP decided things without imput with dad and jr., but I’m just guessing. I wouldn’t let the kid anywhere near Methodist confirmation.

Yes, children one day grow up and make their own decisons. And to speak for the Orthodox (and if I may, the Latins), if when they grow up and do not make the faith their own, ie. not what dad and mom decided, then is some way they are not Orthodox (or Latin). But that’s like they get to decide if they want to go to university: it’s got nothing to do with whether they are going to kindergarten or not.

Btw I try to emphasize the positive of their mother’s church, because my sons are very negative about it (When the one asked me why it didn’t have a Cross, and told them that they didn’t want to make people sad [the officially admitted reason]. My son’s answer "tsk, they call that a church? It’s not a church it’s a mall). I converted from evangelical Lutheran, mom was the cradle Orthodox.


#10

#11

What does it mean for a child to be a “professed methodist”?

We are talking about a child attending a church with his mother, and not being forced to choose between his parents until he is older. That is what you find so abominable. Methodism is not “another religion” but a [defective, from the Catholic point of view] form of Christianity.

I am quite aware that according to the teaching of the Catholic Church one cannot receive communion in a non-Catholic Church if one is a Catholic. If this were not the case, I would have become Catholic long ago. However, in other respects it is quite possible to participate in a Methodist congregation without violating any teaching of the Catholic Church.

The Pope said at the ecumenical meeting at World Youth Day in Cologne that he did not expect Protestants to “deny and reject their own faith history.” It’s time Catholics on this board started taking this rejection of “ecumenism of return” seriously and trying to explain what on earth it means.

That being said, the OP and his wife are both cradle Catholics, which makes the situation very different.

Edwin


#12

God Bless you! :blush: I look forward to reading many more of your posts on the forums…it’s my hope that we all keep learning and spreading the Good News! Blessed dreams and may the Lord bestow many blessings upon you for joining the CAF :thumbsup:


#13

From the OP "She tells our son he is Catholic and Methodist, I have told my son he cannot be Catholic and another religion. It is correct to say he attends two churches, but he is only of the Catholic faith. My son prefers the Catholic Church.
Am I correct in telling my son he cannot be Catholic and another religion?"

To which I wrote “No you absolutely can’t be Catholic and Methodist.”. For some reason you took issue to this statement, and decided to misread what I wrote and turn it into me sayng “you can’t go to a Catholic Church and Methodist Church”. When clearly that isn’t the OP’s concern. His concern is his wifes insistance that the son is both methodist and Catholic, which is impossible. The issue goes a lot deeper than a Mother taking the child to Church with her.


#14

Well then, the matter is closed. Rome has spoken.


#15

Same as it means that he is a ‘professed English speaker’ (I’m assuming on the language, you get the point.

We are talking about a child attending a church with his mother, and not being forced to choose between his parents until he is older. That is what you find so abominable. Methodism is not “another religion” but a [defective, from the Catholic point of view] form of Christianity.

I am quite aware that according to the teaching of the Catholic Church one cannot receive communion in a non-Catholic Church if one is a Catholic. If this were not the case, I would have become Catholic long ago. However, in other respects it is quite possible to participate in a Methodist congregation without violating any teaching of the Catholic Church.

The Pope said at the ecumenical meeting at World Youth Day in Cologne that he did not expect Protestants to “deny and reject their own faith history.” It’s time Catholics on this board started taking this rejection of “ecumenism of return” seriously and trying to explain what on earth it means.

That being said, the OP and his wife are both cradle Catholics, which makes the situation very different.

Edwin

The point is not that dad and mom are cradle Latins (not irrelevent, though), the point is they baptized the boy in the Latin church, in which he has been reared.

Again, I can only go by the OP, but I don’t imagine mom checked it out with jr. when she decided to make herself and, according to her, jr., Methodist.

It doesn’t seem a question of being forced to chose: mom has chosen. Now if it was so jr. can get to know his mom’s church, that’s one thing. But telling him he is Catholic and Methodist because she’s the latter now, is another (OP does she consider herself Catholic and Methodist?).

Sorry mom. The embelical cord was cut, the baptismal water has dried.

I’ll go out on a limb and state the Methodist confirmation (and I’m assuming mom converted that route) requires an affirmation. At this age, and particularly since dad is of a different mind, mom doesn’t get to sign up for jr., just herself.


#16

Thanks. I can tell I’m going to supply heat on this thread, but your post certainly provided the light.

noticed your location. Ah, God’s country.


#17

No. An adult, committed Christian joining a Methodist church would not need to be confirmed. Why on earth would they? They would simply be received as members “by transfer.”

requires an affirmation. At this age, and particularly since dad is of a different mind, mom doesn’t get to sign up for jr., just herself.

Yes. I would assume that as the OP said, the kid will have to decide when it comes time for confirmation. The UMC does have something called “associate membership” which is open to people who belong to another denomination and don’t want to give up their membership in that denomination, but by and large this is supposed to be for people who have a “home church” some distance away (college students, for instance).

Edwin


#18

I was going by what I know of the Lutherans. They receive(d) by confirmation. Baptist by baptism (unless I suppose you were Baptized as an adult by immersion. I’ve never gotten an official position n that). My cousins’ confirmations (Methodist) seemed similiar.

The point is, you have to do something that indicates you will/intent whatever in the matter. As far as that is required, mom can’t do it for jr. and I think Methodist theology on that would agree.

Yes. I would assume that as the OP said, the kid will have to decide when it comes time for confirmation. The UMC does have something called “associate membership” which is open to people who belong to another denomination and don’t want to give up their membership in that denomination, but by and large this is supposed to be for people who have a “home church” some distance away (college students, for instance).

Edwin

No, he has to decide now. I’m assuming at his age he is communing at the Latin church now. If we wants to do that the other 3x month, he has to decide NOW. He can always change his decision later.


#19

Tjomar,
Since there are some very basic beliefs that differ, it’s
definite that one can’t be both Catholic and Methodist.
I’m confused as to why the mother does not honor her committment to raise her child(ren) Catholic. I’m guessing that
since she was Catholic until 3 years ago that she at least
started out raising him Catholic. Some people I know, cradle
Catholics had several children and when she became Baptist,
she continued to raise the children Catholic.


#20

Thank God your son prefers to stay in God’s Church. Allowing him to attend the Methodist community because your wife apostacized in very…unwise. It gives your son the impression that there’s nothing wrong with leaving the Church. Since you both married in the Church (I assume) then you, as the spiritual head of the home, have the responsibility to raise your children Catholic. He is not Catholic and Methodist; the Methodist community is a heretic “church” and although there are good nonCatholics out there, it is still a false “church.”

My advise, discourage your son from attending with your wife, as you will send mixed messages to the both of them.
(Your wife has endangered her soul by leaving the Church…to one that has the Truth, to voluntarily leave it would be a Mortal Sin; you don’t want her or your son in that state.) Talk to an orthodox, holy priest, as to how you should go about this with the both of them because you don’t want to come across as being self-rightous. Their souls are #1, as I’m sure you agree. Pray the Rosary with your son for her conversion, as well as for his steadfastness in the Faith. And pray for the grace to always be loving without compromising the Faith. You’re all in my prayers. God Bless.


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