I’m engaged to be married, and my sister thinks that I am being emotionally abused by my fiance. The major things that have concerned her are 1) my fiance telling me that I should only talk to her about our issues (my fiance doesn’t want me talking to my family or a priest about anything between us). 2) When I tell my fiance that she hurts me, she says that my actions caused her to be mean to me. 3) When I told my fiance I was upset that she wanted to use birth control pills instead of NFP, she said that I’ll never find anyone more Catholic than her. My fiance tells me that I’m lucky she puts up with me. 4) My fiance told me, “I wish you were more like my brother and my dad, they do whatever my mom and I tell them to do.” She also believes that wives should be in charge of their husbands. There are other issues, but I want to be concise.
I know that I make mistakes, but I’m not really sure what I do that makes her unhappy. She has not expressed anything specific to me other than she thinks I’m controlling, but I never tell her what to do, I have just voiced my opinion on occasion. I’m just really confused. I try to treat her with respect, make compromises, do nice things for her, try to pray with her, try to do what she prefers.
Is this abuse? Are my actions really what make her act poorly?
My sister says that everyone is responsible for their own actions, is that true?