ok well i think i really need some help. i have been going downhill fast for a while now. well before lent i was severly depressed. i cut myself (still do sometimes) with my nails. i would dig them straight into my shoulders. i listened to depressing music. i hated myslef, and life. then when lent started God led me to participate . i had vivid visions of walking into a Church that i knew was Catholic. these dreams came true almost exactly. i was refreshed and filled with a joy that was not of this world. i was finally free. i loved God, and He was all i wanted. then the middle of lent came…my head was continually filled with the most horrid blasphemous thoughts. for months upon months this went on. i fell into despair.i suffered like never before. but i held on and Jesus brung me through the storm. i knew i was becoming Catholic. then i went through a period of great joy again, but it wasnt over yet. i was trying very hard to get close to God. my dreams were now of the Blessed Virgin. She visited me in my dreams in a beautiful way. then i began to be palgued by nightmares. the closer i got to God the worse. i had dreams of demons surrounding me, and i had to fight them. the dreams didnt affect me or a while. i would just pray and move on, but then they built in intensity, i had dreams of up close staring at people who were possessed, it was sooo terrifying that im scared to type this. in one of the dreams a woman with no eyes (who was possessed) was staring at me. then i had a dream that a woman was laying on a bed flying on it and she was possessed. the dreams are terrible. then lately i began to have thoughts that im not called to be Catholic. that i will go to hell if i am. and that God doesnt want me to be Catholic. it worrys me soooo much. i had a dream the other night that a man was laying on the floor and he was coughing up bats and demons. it was soooo scary. then tongiht after Mass there were bats swarming the top of my parish. im not officially Catholic yet, and im terrifed. i got some holy water tonight, but i dont know if i can bless my room?? what can i do to stop these dreams. to know if im supposed to be Catholic? to make peace with my self and with God?
You need to talk to a mental health professional about your depression, cutting, and anxiety. You need help. Do not try to work through this on your own.
Also talk to your priest.
I agree with 1ke. Please seek professional help and please know that in addition to that we will be praying for you! :grouphug:
I think getting some mental health help is a great idea, at least you get some help with sleep, but, first to answer you question, you can sprinkle your bed with Holy water, and ask for St Michael the Archangel to help you and protect you. Take your Rosary to bed with you and pray it as you fall asleep.
I would like to know if you are in RCIA? Do you have a local parish you have been going to? I’ve been mentally ill a long long time, and I’m not sure how much of what you are experiencing is symptomatic and how much might be the Liar taking advantage of some fairly minor instability and trying to keep you from God’s Church.
Have a priest bless a Rosary or a medal or Crucifix, something you can keep with you at all times. But do go see a mental health person, as well.
Make an appointment with your local parish priest. Explain the situation to him. Ask him if he would bless/exorcise your place of residence. Also ask him if he could help you acquire a St. Benedict medal that has been blessed with the prescribed blessing. In the meantime, pray the Rosary and ask the Mother of God to intercede on your behalf. Frequent the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And the most powerful prayer you can pray is the Mass. Attend Mass as often as you can and offer your intentions in union with Christ’s offering of Himself in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
thanks for all your replys. im feeling better this morning. and who knows? maybe i will get some medical help in the future! and yes im planning on talking to my parish priest now!
I don’t think seeking medical assistance in the future is a good idea. From the things you describe in your OP I think you need assistance now. You can seek both the help of the Church and the medical profession. Talk to a priest. Pray to God. Have devotional objects blessed. Use holy water. All these things will help to deal with any evil presence. But, some of these problems most likely originate in your brain. If you had a problem with your stomach would you seek treatment for it. Mental health problems are just something that’s gone wrong with the brain. We simply don’t know enough about neuroscience to say it’s this particular biochemistry in the brain that’s got wrong. Please help yourself and seek medical assistance now!
thank yuo for all your concerned replys, but when you read that post it sounds really bad (my orgiinal one) but in all reality its not that bad. i just got down about something last night and over reacted…on the internet (not smart i know). but seriously im fine. thank you for all your concerned replys.
and also i DO NOT cut myself, but its more pinching. no blood is involved. also i am 14, so i do have hormones, get mood swings etc. im sorry for any trouble ive caused. thanks again for the replys.
oh and i am actually now getting a pill for it!
You will still be in my prayers! :grouphug: I’m 45 now, but I still remember being a 14 year old girl. If your problems persist, please seek spiritual and medical help. May God bless you!
Please don’t apologize for coming here for help and being honest about how you are doing. You are no trouble at all and we’re so glad you came instead of just keeping it all inside or taking some destructive route. Post again, whenever you want. There are plenty of adults here posting the same kinds of things, too.
God bless you abundantly, Maegan.
thank you and you too