Sorry for sob story needing to vent!


#1

Like i said exhusband gets away with everything!! Today found out ex decided to quit his job after all last month after the modification approval for his reduction which reduced child support payments by 300 dollars and arrears by 4 grand he sent me an email stating that since we couldn’t come to an agreement he was quitting I let the child support enforcement agency know but they didn’t do anything just like always I am blah blah blah blah blah…to them… I guess they think that because I am single mom that I live off of welfare or social security or something like that sometimes I wish it because those people have money and don’t ever have to work then they could call me a deadbeat mom or whatever… it’s ridiculous…been working all this time as much as possible and what I get is him never paying child support fully, then modification and reduction approved and then quitting his jobs and no one does a single damn thing about it…I am just so pod…right now it’s not even funny….feel like my heart’s about to jump out of my chest… and they told me they didn’t give me any credit because I don’t send the kids to florida to visit him…when I tried to defend myself because I don’t have a known address nor phone number for my ex they changed the subject immediately and I was left with the words in my freaking mouth! I was like HELLO WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SEND MY KIDS TO HIS LAST KNOWN ADDRESS? I DON’T HAVE THE MONEY TO SEND 3 KIDS AT 400 BUCKS A TICKET TO SEE HIM WHEN HE DOESN’T EVEN TALK TO THEM? I have my ADD son which I don’t get any assistance at all for, and I can’t even afford to take him to counseling nor to martial arts where it was helping him with his anxieties and everything!! :frowning: I am telling you I am super depressed…But oh well…I am not really sure what’s going to happen or what we’re going to do with so much still needed to be done in the house and new baby…I doubt my fiance will take it as good news and I doubt me suggesting he gets a second job will sit right with him either esp since it took him 2.5 years to finally get a job let alone find a second one…UGH! So frustrating…Anyhow…sorry for the sob story needed to vent…thanks for hearing me out… Just overly emotional and all but let me tell you this just hit me like a bomb… :frowning: He seems to always get away with everything he wants…While I get to over work myself to feed my kids…lol…GOD help me I’m telling you! Sorry again for the long sob… thanks…


#2

Oh Iluv… I am praying for you - may the Holy Spirit comfort you.
Remember, our God is a generous God, even if ex-husband’s aren’t always.

I wish I had some practical advice for you, legally speaking. I am just going to pray that you find the channels from which you can get more justice and hopefully the due compensation from your ex.


#3

thanks I appreciate it Mercy…I am just a bit overwhelmed is all…I am sure we’ll be ok you know…I know GOD has the best in store for us…Just you know bad news is never good news… lol thank you…I appreciate your prayers…


#4

*(((iluv))) this is horrible. The reason this is going on and on like this, is because he knows you cannot afford good counsel. I would call every government agency I could find…report him…find a good lawfirm to take on a payment plan…ANYTHING…I would not let this man get away with this anymore. He is their dad…he needs to own up to his responsibilities. It’s not about anything else anymore…it’s about the law…and he has a legal obligation to pay child support. I would do everything you can to make this happen. Don’t be weak with him anymore…he needs to pay, and that’s it. Don’t have to get into it with him, but he needs to pay. I cannot believe that the law doesn’t protect women and children when deadbeat dads like this ‘‘quit’’ their jobs on purpose…I’m outraged. Call every single government agency, until you find one that will listen…and begin sending him harassing letters if need be. They shouldn’t come from you–he needs to know that you are done playing around, and that your kids will get the child support they need and deserve FROM HIM. Sorry he is made a new family, not your problem. I know you said the court looked at his new stepkids as his responsibility–so? Not your problem. I feel sorry for all the kids in this mess, but your kids are his BIO kids and they need money. :mad: I’m so tired of your ex…he is a joke of a dad. What woman would find your ex to be a catch, shirking his responsibilities like this?

So…toughen up…pray hard…and call every government agency you know…and get 'er done. :smiley: Sorry, always wanted to say that. *


#5

[quote="whatevergirl, post:4, topic:191001"]
*(((iluv))) this is horrible. The reason this is going on and on like this, is because he knows you cannot afford good counsel. I would call every government agency I could find...report him...find a good lawfirm to take on a payment plan...ANYTHING...I would not let this man get away with this anymore. He is their dad...he needs to own up to his responsibilities. It's not about anything else anymore...it's about the law...and he has a legal obligation to pay child support. I would do everything you can to make this happen. Don't be weak with him anymore...he needs to pay, and that's it. Don't have to get into it with him, but he needs to pay. I cannot believe that the law doesn't protect women and children when deadbeat dads like this ''quit'' their jobs on purpose...I'm outraged. Call every single government agency, until you find one that will listen...and begin sending him harassing letters if need be. They shouldn't come from you--he needs to know that you are done playing around, and that your kids will get the child support they need and deserve FROM HIM. Sorry he is made a new family, not your problem. I know you said the court looked at his new stepkids as his responsibility--so? Not your problem. I feel sorry for all the kids in this mess, but your kids are his BIO kids and they need money. :mad: I'm so tired of your ex...he is a joke of a dad. What woman would find your ex to be a catch, shirking his responsibilities like this?

So...toughen up...pray hard...and call every government agency you know...and get 'er done. :D Sorry, always wanted to say that. *

[/quote]

Hi whatevergirl...today I submitted my case to 5 different attorneys near by and additional ones throughout the state of illinois, AGAIN...hoping one will help me out here somehow finally something you know...I even spent 100 dollars on a private investigator to run a background check on him because the investigator said he could get me proof of employment well it was a waste he lied...I spent money I didnt even have!!! LOL For nothing!! hehehe...My luck I am telling you!! I dont have funds and with soon coming unpaid maternity leave it will make it really difficult to pay anyone at all in any kind of payments! :( I had even told the child support about his threat...it's nothing... lol...I even asked the child support agency what will they do about him quitting his job they said nothing he will get his new unemployment modification approved I was like WHAT?? what about the kids?! No one cares about the kids...it's not about them...it's only obvious...if it was about the kids they would have done what they did to one of my friends like a decade ago or longer they made him get 3 jobs to support his first born and his exwife and then his 2 biological sons and new wife... he had 3 jobs and on top of that paid 50% of all medicinal expenses, 50% clothes and shoes for his daughter, 50% of visitation tickets-airplane tickets, bday gifts never missed one, Christmas gifts never missed one, and health insurance...My kids get none of that from their father...I do it all for them..and now thanks to my fiance he helps me too so it's as if he's their father not their real biological father! :( So depressing you know...sometimes i feel like grabbing a bottle of vodka and shoving it down my throat so i dont feel anything!! HAHAHA! but of course i don't lol...but hey doesnt sound like a bad idea right about now...lol

Hon I have tried constantly...It's been an ongoing fight...ongoing! And nope child support won't do a damn thing...they are like "well he lost his job can't force him to get another one!" I was like ok so he lost his job that means he's getting unemployment and extended unemployment, they are like nothing on record sorry! SO that means he quit his job so do something about it...nope won't do jack! NOTHING! I am just the money hungry mother...I am telling you he went from owning what 16 grand in arrears to just barely 11 grand...and from 1067 dollars to 800 bucks...LOL And that was not good enough he quit his job now... It's just like whatever to the govt..they don't care...I looked at the Illinois deadbeat dad page and girl there are dads that owe 100 thousand dollars and law hasn't done anything about them puts them in jail for a little bit others they cant find so they are out there still others cant find jobs but getting paid under the table etc...It's a shame...and then they wonder why society is not working so well and why more and more kids don't want to grow up and get married or have families or why more families fall apart or why kids get into drugs and crime and all kinds of other stuff...it's really depressing...

With my ex it was always all about him...nothing and no one else...I am sure we'll be ok though you know...hopefully fiance can find another job! LOL crossing fingers


#6

*I'm so sorry for you in this. :( He SHOULD be getting two jobs, one to support his bio kids, and another to support his current stepkid situation. But, no, he quits the one job he had? Nice.

It CLEARLY is only about him, indeed. Prayers for him too, that he wakes up, and wishes to become the dad that your kids deserve. Your poor kids. :( I'm so sorry. :console:

Don't give up. God is watching. He wants you to keep working at it, He will bring the miracle...trust in Him. Don't let your ex get away with this, it's not right. Try to stay calm, go for a walk...pray the Rosary...pray for your ex...and keep fighting the good fight. If you give up and do nothing, he continues to shirk his responsiblity. He is one of those dads out there that needs the law to keep after him, sadly...he won't do this on his own, at least not right now. Praying he will eventually change his ways, but until then, the law needs to get him to change. The law is on your side, you just need the right people to get this in motion. If you ever go to court again, do not show up without a good lawyer. It isn't worth it, same thing will happen again. *


#7

I hear you but I honestly can’t afford a lawyer…I really if I could hon I would have done something about him a long long long time ago…lol…

I am ok…I am going to go grab something to eat…I am not giving up, it’s just out of my hands…esp when the enforcing company doesn’t enforce! LOL What else is left you know?! Just hope in GOD for his better plan…I am sure we’ll be ok…just gotta deal with it that’s it…lol… If my ex was meant to change hon he would have done that over a decade ago…lol…

Besides remember his new wife is just as uhm how do you say it politely as deceiving as he is so they are 2 peas in a pod…exactly the same that’s how she’s able to stay with a man like that…


#8

I used to volunteer for the Legal Aid Society and we would periodically get calls about child support. The LAS may take your case if you’re financially eligible. It’s not a fee generating case.

Some child support collection agencies and lawyers may also take a contingency fee instead of an upfront hourly rate. If LAS can’t help you, I am sure that they could give you contact information.

I’m so sorry to hear about this. Saying a prayer for you! :hug3:


#9

Thanks will look into LAS so far no attorney has contacted me regarding anything but hopefully there will be one that might open their hearts and help me out…thank you for your prayers!


#10

I am praying for you as well.

Have you tried contacting the Catholic Charities organization in Illinois?

The number is (800) 227-3002. I think they are in Chicago but, if that’s too far, they should be able to get you in touch with someone nearby. I don’t know if they can help, but at least the call is free!

Also, you may already have this number, but the IL Child Support DPA Enforcement hotline is 800-447-4278. I think that they may provide some legal assistance as well.

I’ll keep praying for you too. I know it may not sound like much, but I also know that it does help.


#11

thanks I have called them before…unfortunately they are unable to help…I have contacted the enforcing agency they are the ones whom told me they would have to do the modification/reduction based on his job loss! LOL


#12

Ma’am?

Your ex is kind of a jerk. :wink:
Cheers.


#13

[quote="Rascalking, post:12, topic:191001"]
Ma'am?

Your ex is kind of a jerk. ;)
Cheers.

[/quote]

LOL you made me laugh..thanks!


#14

I’m sorry and saddened to hear that the Catholic Charities could not help. I suggest calling them again and speaking with the office manager, (800) 227-3002 extension 204.

Here are some other numbers that, if you haven’t already, you might want to call:

DHS Bureau of Collections at 1-800-457-6273.
Child Support Help Line at 1-800-447-4278.
Department of Human Services hotline at 1-800-843-6154.
Land of Lincoln Legal Assistance Services at 1-800-642-5335.


#15

I was told that he lost his job but isn’t receiving unemployment because he didn’t qualify…??? Shouldn’t they’d be willing to investigate that one so in return they told me even if he was receiving unemployment we live in 2 separate states they can not enforce garnishment on unemployment from another state…the funny thing is that from the begining we’ve been living in separate states and one time they caught him receiving unemployment and they garnished his unemployment for 3 months and all of a sudden they can’t??? Interesting… And then I get the whole because he’s unemployed we can’t force him to work it’s an ammendment of the constitution we can’t force him to get a job! I was like OK WHATEVER!! So yeah he’s getting away scott free…


#16

*Yes, I know you have been trying so hard through this, iluv. I didn’t mean to imply you were not trying…I know you are…it’s so crazy that this is going on and on and on!

You will know however, that you have exhausted ALL avenues, when he is paying. :smiley:

He won’t get away with this. God wants justice for you and your kids, you keep doing what you can, and let God pave the way for someone with a big heart to come forth to take your case, hopefully, for little to nothing. There is so much legislation now, he won’t continue to get away with this.

Re: his current wife…I thought she was getting better? It sounded like she was in your corner, at one point. Maybe I’m not remembering that right.

The good news is you have a strong relationship with Christ. He will make you strong, when you’re weak. I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do…it’s not for you, it is for your kids. It is very hard I imagine, to watch your kids’ dad neglect them. Hang in there…keep trying…keep calling whoever you have to…just don’t give up. *


#17

Your ex is in Florida, right?

Then here is the Florida law:

dor.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/enforcement.html

Enforcement of Child Support Orders

A child support order tells the parents what they must do to support their children. Enforcing child support orders means getting the parent to do what the order says.
Some of the ways we get parents to pay are:

[LIST]
*]Notify the parents when they miss payments
*]Suspend Florida driver licenses
*]Take IRS tax refunds
*]Take tax refunds to pay past due support
*]Take Florida Lottery winnings if over $600
*]Take support payments from unemployment and worker’s compensation
*]Tell employers to take payments from paychecks
*]Place liens on the parent’s car, boat, or other property
*]Report past due support to credit agencies
*]Place a hold and take money from bank accounts
*]Take the case to court because the parent did not do what the order says
*]Work with the court to issue a writ, also known as an arrest warrant. If you would like to see if there is a writ on your case, please use the Department of Revenue’s Writ Search Site.
[/LIST]Parents can avoid these actions by paying their child support and doing what the order says.


#18

Sorry whatevergirl didn’t mean for it to sound as if you were implying anything yes I am trying and prayers are appreciated and I haven’t stopped trying to find someone…lol…just don’t have that kind of luck it seems! :frowning: LOL

his current wife manipulated my daughter into lying…and bringing me into their fights because ex was demanding my daughter to say something she wasn’t wanting so he sent his new wife to do his dirty work for him…daughter was really hurt and upset and ended up blaming me for some things to get out of it with her stepmom…no she’s not a good person at all…

i will continue praying and holding my head high…thank you dear!


#19

Yes but because we live in 2 separate states they will not enforce anything at all until he’s 6 months without paying child support then they will make the case into an interstate case until then ok, and then they will see if the other state will be willing to accept the interstate case and enforce it through their state…so yeah I am pretty much screwed lol he gets away with ditching child support he’s done it for years… :shrug:


#20

If you quit your job you are not eligible for unemployment, only those that are laid off through no fault of their own. And yes, the constitutional amendment that bans slavery is interpreted by the courts to mean that non-incarcerated citizens can not be forced to work. All the state can do is to cut off benefits if someone refuses to work.


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