I really need prayers. I have been sick and my health deteriorating for 5 years now. Though my docs know of my 2 chronic illnesses, (one since childhood, the other about 5 years now) I have had a slew of pain and symptoms that are rare, and numerous tests have failed to show what is causing them.
Though it would seem the symptoms would be related to the onset of the 2nd chronic illness, since the duration is the same, they do not fit “textbook” even for rare symptoms.
I am in much pain, and have to say that every day for these past 5 years has been a struggle. (whether pain free or not, I am always tired to a degree that is inexplicable)
I don’t even leave my house much because it is so difficult for me.
I see suffering as a gift, and thus I must wonder if that is what I must endure. If so, please pray that I may endure the suffering beneficially. (for others)
I just know I am really tired, and see no end in sight to this. I do not claim to understand God’s will for my life, so maybe the suffering is necessary? But I keep thinking I would be much more useful if I had energy and health. If that makes sense?
If one takes a glimpse of my posts, you will see a lack of cohesion and flow often. That is because I have cognitively declined as well.
Sigh, I really just want to be here for a few special loved ones, I know I am not a highly social person, but I do see these particular people as needing me. And I want to be here for them in a more helpful and constructive way. I don’t see that happening, nor do I think I will make it much longer if the answers aren’t found. (seriously, some of the health issues have been that profound, and the docs can’t believe all I’ve survived sometimes)
I hope this makes sense.
I just really need prayers and am sorry to ask as prayers aren’t something I myself offer often because I don’t have the attention span of a gnat.
But I do offer my suffering for people instead.
I have to go out for one of my rare excursions today, so will not be back to this for a while. Thanks again.