I know that this is a really strange question to post here, but I’m a fairly devout Catholic, my wife is non Catholic, and our two kids are devout Catholics. This is a topic that’s causing huge stress in my household and is a constant source of tension between my wife and I.
I’m 55 years old, married and have one kid who is finishing high school this year and who wants to be a veterinarian. I have another kid in his third year of college now and who probably has a couple of more years to go. My house is paid for and we have no loans.
I have two jobs basically, one being a super high stress desk job and another in which I own cattle that are run on an in-laws place. I have about $2M saved up, part of which I inherited. I’d like to quit the high stress job right now but every time I mention this it provokes outright panic of the highest order with my spouse, who maintains that it’s absolutely impossible. She pays the household bills and maintains that insurance alone will kill us (she’s 44 and her’s approaches the $1,000/month.
If that’s the case, we’ll never be able to retire.
So here are my questions:
- Is she right (I know, that’s almost impossible to answer, but we live fairly conservatively); and
- If she’s wrong, has anyone else gone through the "oh no, you absolutely must not quit discussion).
This is one thing we almost can’t discuss in our household as the level of emotional drama that comes up every time I mention this is just over the top. I’m almost ready to simply quit and then announce I’ve done it, which would be bad, but at least that’d be over. I’m so worn down and tired from the stress of my desk job that I really think I won’t last until retirement age if I keep working it as it’ll kill me one way or the other, and its sucked all the joy out of living completely. I keep thinking of the example, however, of sacrifice on the part of men towards their spouses as they ideal I should be living up to, and if so, I’m pretty massively failing at that. I’m sacrificing, but only because the panic keeps that cross up there, not because I’m willing enduring it.