Sort of at my wit's end


I’ve been very lonely the past few years because I’ve been struggling with chronic illness. I moved to a new city fairly recently and that hasn’t helped matters. I recently joined a Church group to try to make friends. They’re all very nice and friendly but every time we get together, I end up feeling so depressed afterwards. Part of this is that I like one of the guys in the group, but being unemployed and still somewhat ill, I feel really sad because I can’t imagine that he would like me back. I’m not sure what to do. I like the people. However, being overwhelmed with sadness every time we meet is not really helping morale, but being alone all of the time is even worse and I need friends. Any prayers and advice would be welcome.


I remember years ago having this sort of problem. I felt really sad when someone left because I hadn’t been able to pluck up the courage to talk to them and form a friendship. In hindsight I would have encouraged myself to be braver, I might have whispered in my young selfs ear saying “be brave, what have you got to lose.” Something like that.

Why not pray to Our Lady for strength and assistance before your next meeting.
God bless.


The old adage, which stems from Proverbs, “If you want friends, be friendly” holds true.

You have a crush on someone at Church. Why not strike up a conversation, be friendly. If it becomes romance, there it is, if not you have made a Catholic friend!

I hope you are talking to your doctor about the depression.



I have no problem being friendly. My issue is that I go home and cry for hours afterwards.


Please, please speak to your doctor.


I don’t have any money and I have been to the doctor many times over the past few years and gotten no help besides getting deeply into debt. Doctors don’t help with depression. They just give you medication which I can’t take because I develop breathing problems with anything they try. If you mean I should speak to a therapist, say that but please please please stop advising me to waste $200-$300 speaking to my doctor. You don’t help anyone advising them to see a doctor for something doctors are perfectly worthless for, and I’d appreciate actual advice on my situation much more than endless admonishments to waste more time and money buying houses and cars for people who work in the medical profession.


If you’re only advice is that, then thanks but no thanks and please move on.


Is there a particular reason you are not employed? How are you supporting yourself? If you have a chronic illness, can you apply for disability?

Based on your last few responses, it does seem like you could really benefit from seeing someone about the depression. It’s not normal to cry for hours after a social event. If you do not have any money, there should be programs that can help you with mental health treatment. But I don’t think that your friend situation is going to improve unless you can find help for yourself first.


I was talking to a therapist for awhile, but I ran out of money. I’m currently supported by my family. I applied for government aid but was refused, possibly because if the support from my family. I’m not sure. I’m not working at the moment partly because of illness and partly because I’ve been unemployed for so long most people won’t even consider employing me. I am aware that I’m depressed and that crying after a social event is not normal. It would be nice if people who have been through similar situations could offer support and actual helpful advice. Telling me what I already know is not helpful.


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