Soul Mates


#1

Does God intend for us to marry one specific person designed just for us? I see in the Catechism there is strict emphasis on human will, on the husband’s and wives’ part, but what about God’s will?


#2

I only said no because in the case of a widow (widower), it would mean that she could never marry again if she was only intended to have one spouse in her lifetime. The Church does not teach this.

~Liza


#3

Im a widower and I say yes without a doubt.

I think some souls are meant for eachother. Some people marry for the wrong reasons, lust, children, money, social status, protection, cooking and disreguard Gods hand. So it really doesnt matter to there core if their mate dies, yes they cry but at the loss of its service. Two years later they can find a replacement. They can “move on” as so many people say. Those who married because of finding there soulmate rarelly ever marry again and if they do its usually for services provided. Yet its never the same for them. The other does not understand you and can never understand you. A soulmate knows what the simplest sign means and can respond to it.

I for one feel Im still married, Im just a way for a short time and then we will be back together before God. The others will be alone before him, infinately content yet not quite complete.


#4

I for one feel Im still married, Im just a way for a short time and then we will be back together before God. The others will be alone before him, infinately content yet not quite complete.

Polaris, may God bless you. I’ve read your other posts about your wife, and the two of you shared a very special marriage. I’m sure she was very happy to be your wife.


#5

I can’t vote because the title differs from the question. Yes, God might intend for you to marry a specific person. But no, there’s no such thing as a “soul mate,” one magic person who completes your life and without whom you’ll never be happy. Even if you choose to marry somebody whom God hadn’t intended for you, God still can bless the marriage. Once you marry, your mate becomes the “right person” for you whether they were God’s original choice for you or not.


#6

If this is true, then where’s mine? Some of us were “forgotten.”

I vote “no.”


#7

God created us with free will - the idea of a true “soul mate” would violate free will. God intends for those with a vocation to marriage to marry someone who will become one flesh with us and together further each other, their family, and all those around them to heaven.

As long as a man and woman share the same soul mate - Jesus Christ - and put HIM first, then can a real marriage be made.


#8

Gamera, I dread the thought of two lawyers talking about love. :smiley:

And where’s the only correct answer: “I don’t know?” :smiley:

Seriously, though, I don’t know. I think we don’t know. It’s certainly possible, but we don’t really have a way of claiming it for sure.


#9

I think God creates people for us who can bring us to Himself. I was always raised to pray for that person, whomever God created who was destined to be my spouse, before I even met him. And for the grace to be able to recognize that person when I did meet them.

My personal situation ended badly, but that doesn’t mean what I was taught was wrong.

And I also believe that God is generous, and does not limit His grace. And that there is more than one person out there who can be our soulmate. In the same way He sends most of us more than one child, He has many people out there who could help us to attain heaven. So if we do not recognize one person, or if a beloved spouse dies, our own lives are not “over” and we have missed our only chance.


#10

I think God has a plan for us for our lives and will show us that plan if we ask him to show us and are open to whatever we are thus called to do. I think the same is true if we are called to married he has a person who would be the best person for us to marry and with whom we would be the happiest and have the best chance for getting to heaven. I also think due to our free wills we often get impatient and don’t wait for that person to be made clear to us or we disagree with Gods choice and because of our arrogance don’t marry the right person. In some cases this results in divorce and in others the marriage is harder than God intended. We will always be happiest if we follow Gods will and his churches teachings.


#11

Liberanos, we have free will. Sure, sometimes it goes like with Jonas, but at other times… well, suffice to say the person intended for us has the ability to refuse.

This said, I generally harbour the idea of God having some girl in store for me. Don’t ask me why. I know where this stands from the logical point of view. And you know what I think about the concept.

Now I guess I’m discredited. :smiley:


#12

I believe that God allows us the free will to choose our mate from many possibilities. He allows many potential mates to cross our paths; some would be good choices, some bad ones.

Life is not a quiz with only one correct answer.

I don’t think God would only “approve” of one choice of spouse any more than He would approve of any one town to live in, car to drive or job offer to accept. As long as one is following his/her prayerfully accepted vocation and trying to discern God’s will, that is.


#13

That post reminded me of something. Mind if I tell a story which isn’t really related to the topic? Well, it is, but not so directly.

Basically, I was watching some film about the good old times in the 17 century Poland and whatnot. At any rate, the woman was pious and the guy (a colonel) was a noble man. There was obviously something going, but the whole thing was innocent. It was all good. There was no rush, no ill atmosphere, no chaos. No 140 hearbeat rate kind of romance. No cloak and dagger kind of thing. Just the natural goodness and a woman taking a natural liking to a man, while he felt the same to her. They rode together through the forest, alone, unattended by anyone, but it was obvious nothing out of order would happen. They sometimes passed each other and sometimes rode “stirrup in stirrup”, as we say, and would smile at the thought. This is not something that doesn’t happen these days. It certainly does. It’s just it rarely leads to anything.

These times it’s more like innuendo and some dark kinds of chemistry lead to relationships starting. I just wish sometimes that I could escape this paradigm and simply meet someone the way it happened in the old time. And no, it’s not like innuendo didn’t exist back then. Books and films are idealised. But still.


#14

I agree with kage-ar.

God’s plan for us includes free will. The notion of a soulmate reeks of predestination.

There are many paths to holiness. I do believe God will pull strings so that the paths of two compatible people intersect, but that He offers it more as a suggestion than a completion as personhood.

Also JPII’s Theology of the Body seems to suggest that a person must be complete prior to entering a vowed vocation, not that the person is completed by his or her vocation.

ETA: I also think of those folks who would invariably end up as victims of their would-be soulmate’s free will to sin. Should a just person be condemned to life without their soulmate just because the predetermined soulmate chose a life apart from holiness?


#15

Yep, it does have that connotation. But what about the idea that it’s planned but we still have free will, don’t know, intended to happen but potentially prevented from happening by one person’s decision?

Also JPII’s Theology of the Body seems to suggest that a person must be complete prior to entering a vowed vocation, not that the person is completed by his or her vocation.

Hmm. Now that you say, I’ve often had the feeling that I can’t really find the “ultimate” relationship while I’m finishing my education, establishing myself professionally, learning this or that, shaping my philosophical or other views. And it doesn’t matter other people could. There just doesn’t seem to be any contradiction here. Sometimes I think see what becomes of me and look around then.

ETA: I also think of those folks who would invariably end up as victims of their would-be soulmate’s free will to sin. Should a just person be condemned to life without their soulmate just because the predetermined soulmate chose a life apart from holiness?

Yeah, a logical problem with the soulmate theory. We can’t really go on and say that in that case God intends a supplementary soulmate or something like that. I think we need to have faith in God and then in the sacrament of marriage.


#16

I thought I qualified what I meant when I presented the question then offered the choice. It doesn’t need that ‘magical’ connotation, for the record.

Once you marry, your mate becomes the “right person” for you whether they were God’s original choice for you or not.

Are you saying we have the power to change God’s mind?

[quote=“kage_ar”]God created us with free will - the idea of a true “soul mate” would violate free will.
[/quote]

We can choose to obey God’s prime choice (and therefore, only choice, I think), or we choose to disobey and marry just another great person.

If God is generous and unlimited in grace, then instead of saying there is more than one person, why not say that if we are in tune with His will daily, and seek Him daily, that he will not allow us to overlook our mate, and that he will preserve them until we meet them?

I also do not see how numerous children equates to numerous potential mates, marrige defines children, they do not ‘equate’ in that sense.

Life is more than a series of superficial questions with open-ended answers. We have the capacity to live out God’s desires, wouldn’t God’s desires for His children only be the best ones? Even an evil man knows how to give gifts to his children, how much more our Father in heaven?

I don’t think God would only “approve” of one choice of spouse any more than He would approve of any one town to live in, car to drive or job offer to accept.

So a spouse is a thing?

Does the movie show any evidence of God being personally involved? No movie ever does. A man’s heart and naturalness is desperately wicked above all things. I believe this ‘innocence’ is unmerited when it wasn’t orchestrated by God, and in a way where the couple understands God is involved in the present, not in retrospect.

Do you not believe that God is in control of all things? He doesn’t just throw two people on this Earth and hope that somehow they’ll meet.


#17

What on earth could God have against my poor husband for determining me for him! :rolleyes: I can not imagine finding someone so perfect for me that I have wondered sometimes if there is such a thing as a soul mate. But then I have to consider people who have been in bad relationships or have made mistakes that were just not fixable. I believe that it is opening yourself to God’s will keeping a loving a positive attitude toward the people in your life.


#18

I think you’ve answered your question.

A man’s heart and naturalness is desperately wicked above all things.

Eeek. Come on. Sorry, but you’ve been listening to feminists too much. A man is no worse than a woman and if you mean man as both genders, then still, evil is not our default state.

I believe this ‘innocence’ is unmerited when it wasn’t orchestrated by God

The next thing you’re going to say is that the only way to do something good or right is for God to take direct control over your body. We have free will. We’re vulnerable to temptation and prone to sin. But we’re God’s children at the same time and made in His image. Are you going to say that unless something is directly “orchestrated” by God, then it’s automatically wrong, sinful and what else? That’s just not correct.

Do you not believe that God is in control of all things? He doesn’t just throw two people on this Earth and hope that somehow they’ll meet.

Do you not believe in free will? And it’s beyond me where you read anything in my posts to suggest that God lumps a man in Africa and a woman in South America and go on, folks, find each other. :rolleyes: God has the power to do anything, but this doesn’t mean that He goes on to trample our free wills. He wouldn’t have created us first of all, if He had wanted just that.


#19

There’s probably a certain number of people out there that we’re compatible with but as to soul mates…I’m not so sure. I think it’s more of a numbers game and being in the right place at the right time. I’m still singles so you can take my opinion for what it’s worth. I’ve yet to run into a guy I really click with for that matter but I leave it to God to lead me to one of the right people or right person.


#20

Michal,
I think that the notion that only those who are perfectly in tune with God’s will deserve a soul mate to be elitist and uncharitable.
Did I at one time think I had found my soul mate? Yes. Did it end in disaster? Yes! Did that cause me grief that you will never comprehend? Yes. Does the premise that somehow I was unworthy and at fault because I somehow completely misread God’s will in my life add to that grief? Yes.

I think God is more charitable than your notion of His will. And if you ever are absolutely sure about God’s will and know that He has chosen a person for you, come back and let us know how you did it. Many of us struggle every day to know God’s will for us.

Do hope that the person you were so sure of never turns on you, abandons you or abuses you. (If that happens, does it mean God created a cruel soulmate for me? Am I in a category of people who do not merit sublime happiness?)

I think the notion of a soulmate is burdensome to everyone. It puts way too much pressure on a mere mortal to satisfy the deepest longings of our heart that only God can fill. Our spouse is to help us get to heaven. They are not supposed to be our heaven.

And what of the many people who never marry, or lose their spouses? Are you saying they didn’t get a soulmate? Are there two tiers of deserving people in your world? One gets a soulmate and the rest of us are stuck with nothing?


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