Speaking to God as a friend


I’m currently doing this novena to St. Alphonsus Liguori that the Redemptorists had on their webpage for the days leading up to St. Alphonsus’ feast day. Each day you read a quote from St. Alphonsus and say a prayer. Today the quote from St. Alphonsus was:

“It is true that God ought to be worshipped always with the greatest reverence; however, when He deigns to make you feel His presence and when He makes known His desire that you should speak to Him as to the friend who loves you better than any other friend, you should open your heart to Him with the greatest liberty and confidence.”

My question is: How do you know when God “makes known His desire that you should speak to Him as the friend who loves you better than any other friend”? I’ve thought of God as my friend for quite a long time, and there are books and prayers like the Prayer of St. Claude de la Colombiere and a prayer booklet I see at Adoration chapels that portray Jesus as your friend who wants to hear about your day and all your joys and sorrows. I have also seen a presentation by the Jesuits that basically said God doesn’t need us for anything but He wants us to be His friends.

Is there a way one specifically knows when God wants you to speak to Him as a friend? Do we just know in our heart?


If one advances in the spiritual life, one prays to God very often either through interior words or just the presence of a friend without saying anything. Imagine being in a special way Gods presence for most if not all of the day. Every single thing that happens to us is because of God, every second of every day.We can definitely call God our friend.


It’s rather hard for me to explain this, but I think of God in all of His ways/roles/persons of the Trinity.

I can talk to Him as a Father or as a friend, too.

I guess that maybe for me, it’s just kind of intuitive. I’m sure that probably isn’t very helpful to you, but I guess that it depends on where I’m at in my faith life, and what kind of a situation that I’m in, too.

In other words, I may pray to the Holy Spirit when I’m seeking more Gifts of the Spirit.

I may want to speak to the Father when I have something more serious on my mind, and I may want to talk to the Lord as a friend when I am seeking His closeness like we would if we’ve read St. Faustina’s Diary of Divine Mercy.


Jesus is definitely the one I reach out to as a friend, because he’s portrayed in the Gospels as being a good friend to the Twelve, to Mary, Martha and Lazarus, and to Mary Magdalene. Plus the concept of “Jesus as friend” was really pushed all through the 1970s and 1980s when i was in school, to the point where more conservative people feel we have lost “holy fear” through all the “buddy Christ” stuff.

I have started focusing more on the Holy Spirit, partly because the Holy Spirit and “Veni Creator” type prayers play a huge role in Marian consecrations and renewals, so having done those brought me a greater awareness and appreciation for the Holy Spirit.

God the Father I normally associate with creation or anything majestic or the “holy fear” type stuff where the voice is booming down from the clouds scaring people. Sometimes I picture him as George Burns in “Oh God” because I very much liked George Burns and John Denver and have fond memories of seeing that movie with my parents.


Hi 'TisBear,

Thanks for your post, and for your lovely response. :slight_smile:

I also think of the Holy Spirit when it comes in relation to Scripture, too.

We would always pray to Him before starting any parish Bible Study classes. :slightly_smiling_face:


I think you will know it in your heart because it is a spiritual experience we are talking about. I also think it is a process. At first it will feel like seeing a beacon of light in a dense fog, and in time the fog will gradually dissipate and the light will get closer. The friendship will intensify with the spiritual growth.


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