Speaking uncharitably... those things that just pop out of my mouth

When I was younger I would swear like a sailor and say basically whatever popped into my head. Thanks be to God, I’ve curbed the swearing habit and learned to speak with gentleness and kindness. But sometimes if I’m under stress, whether it be from illness or nervousness or whatever, I’ll still make very sarcastic jokes that are sometimes downright mean. When I say these things I immediately think “oh boy, why did I say that?! I don’t want to speak like this anymore!” and I commend myself to God and ask Him for forgiveness. But I still just can’t seem to figure out how to stop speaking so uncharitably. Lately these mean remarks have been towards a dear friend of mine who is a priest, and God bless his merciful soul he never says anything. He either says nothing at all or kind of smiles. He understands…

I find myself taking my foot out of my mouth a lot lol.

How on earth do I stop myself from being such a big meanie, even though it’s never really intentional?

Practice makes perfect! :slight_smile:

Peace and all Good!!

I can really identify with you in this, I have the same problem. as SuperLuigi said, I think it’s really down to practice & continuing to chip away at it.

Just continue to be aware of it as it happens, commend yourself to God and ask Him to give you Light to know yourself & curb as time goes on.


I can identify with you as well, LilyPearls. Sadly, it seems my tendency to just blurt things out has gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. (I’m in my early 50s.) I’ve recently dedicated myself to working on this tendency, so I can come a little closer to being the woman God wants me to be.

When I pray for strength and guidance in this area, I’ll think of you, too. Some extra prayer always helps!

From a fellow struggler with this problem:

Read and memorize these Scriptures - James Chapter 3, Philippians 4:8, and Ephesians 6:10-19. There are undoubtedly others to add to the list but these are my “go to” verses.

Substitute positive behavior to supplant the old negative behavior and over time you will rewire your brain. :slight_smile: Not only is this scientifically proven, but it’s backed up in Scripture. In Matthew 12 Jesus explains how when a demon is driven out it goes and brings back seven more - so don’t leave a vacuum of just removing the negative. Put in some positive things - prayer, Bible reading, forgiveness of enemies, sacrifices and other spiritual practices - to fill that space up.

Is this considered an imperfection because it is not intentional, or is this venially sinful and therefore valid matter for confession?

Peace and All Good!

I think it’s an imperfection because it’s not intentional. However I have found that bringing it up in Confession is helpful & brings Grace to move away from it.

This makes perfect sense to me. The problem is I sometimes have a hard time finding things that are valid matter for confession, so I can’t go at all. I realize this comes from blindness more so than holiness…by far. God help me.

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