Special Mass this week and I am unable to go...bummed!


Today is my parish’s first annual Thanksgiving Mass and celebration. The purpose is to celebrate the laying of the cornerstone of our church.
Anyway there was to be a youth concert an hour before Mass and then Mass, then after that a get together in the school gym.

Well long story short, I am stuck at home because my almost 8 year old daughter is sick with fever, bodyaches, runny nose and cough. Per the H1N1 directives from the Diocese anyone exhibiting symptoms is to stay home from Mass and seek medical attention, so since there is no one else willing to look after my little sickie I am assuming that I am not in any serious sin for missing Mass this week.

Hopefully she is feeling better and we can get to Mass next Sunday.


I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the point of this message.

Your daughter is ill, you are her mother. Your duty is to care for her. This duty trumps a hundred-fold any pleasure you may have felt by going to this special Mass. And since it is a duty imposed by God, it should be welcomed with joy. How many mothers would love to care for their sick children but are unable to because they are in a wheelchair, for instance?

And if you don’t know by now that looking after a sick child removes the obligation to go to Mass, I query the quality of catechesis in your Parish.


Such a harsh response!

Could not the point be that Tracy24 is disappointed that she is unable to attend the Special Mass today. A perfectly valid statement IMO - I’d feel the same in her place.

And I don’t understand what the point of this comment is at all.

Again, a very harsh statement. If you read carefully, it seems that Tracy24, along with expressing her perfectly reasonable disappointment is checking that she is right about being released from the obligation to attend Sunday Mass because she is caring for her sick daughter. Such a judgemental reply to her query does little to build up a new Catholic (or indeed an old one either).

How disappointing that you have to miss this special occasion, Tracy. You have done the right thing staying home with the daughter you love so much. I hope she will soon recover so that you can both get to Mass. And as you are caring for a sick child, you are dispensed from the requirement to attend Sunday Mass, so you are not in any kind of sin for missing Mass this week.


Thank you for your understanding and caring response Vivienne.

As Vivienne has mentioned I am a new Catholic and I was merely checking that I was correct in that I was dispensed from my Sunday obligation since I am at home caring for my sick child. I am sorry if this was wrong and offended anyone, I will not make the same mistake again.

I do, however, take offense at the implication that I do not find joy in caring for my child. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you actually knew me and my child you would know that 99% of my life is caring for her and fighting to ensure her needs are met. My child was born at 26 weeks and spent 3 months in an NICU, the first four weeks of her life were spent on a ventilator with enough tubes and wires attached to and coming out of her to make your hair curl. I sat by her bedside while they were talking to me about putting her through open heart surgery when she didn’t even weigh 2 pounds yet, luckily she dodged that but did end up having to have eye surgery when she was almost 3 pounds due to the damage caused to the developing blood vessels in her eyes by the high oxygen levels she required while she was on the ventilator.
She is a sickly child by her very nature, her lung tissue was damaged by the very machinery that kept her alive leaving her with severe asthma and another chronic lung disease called bronchopulmonary dysplasia. I spend a large amount of my time caring for her because she is either sick or has appointments with the multitude of specialists still following her care. This takes away any possibility of my holding an outside job or any chance at a social life but I do it gladly because I love her and would do absolutely anything for her.
As far as wheelchairs, no I am not in one and we are very lucky she isn’t either. She has cerebral palsy and brain damage directly related to a stroke she had in the first week after she was born. Evidently all that blood flowing through paper thin underdeveloped blood vessels makes them rupture quite easily in such fragile babies.

At any rate I was unaware I had to disclose my child’s medical history when I was stating my disappointment at missing a special Mass. FWIW my daughter was probably more disappointed than I was about missing it.
I would think we might exercise a little more charity when posting here and leave the judgements to God.




Tracy, I’m sorry you have to miss this, and hoping your child is feeling better.

I’m also feeling disappointed that I missed mass today. I was having some problems with my back yesterday and when I woke up this morning I was in such extreme pain I could barely force myself to get out of bed. Took some advil hoping it would help and I’d be able to sit up and walk in time for mass. But that didn’t happen. I missed high mass for Christ the King and the procession we were having afterwards.

I’m still in pain but able to sit up at least now.

I’m trying to focus on looking forward to the Feast of All Saints next Sunday.


I’m so sorry, Tracy - please accept my apologies.

I didn’t know about the true situation and just took it that you were complaining about your little girl’s illness causing you miss this special Mass. I lost a daughter, you see, and couldn’t bear the thought of someone thinking attending a special Mass was more important than caring for a sick child. I was also scandalised that anyone had given you the impression that there would be the slightest possibility of sin attached to missing Mass in those circumstances. Commenting on this was not a criticism of you, but of whoever had told you that there was (or conversely, hadn’t told you that there wasn’t).

You have been through such a lot, and the last thing you needed was my harsh comments, I see that now.

Please forgive me.


I’m not too sure how to quote multiple posts, I must confess I only recently figured out how to quote one post lol:shrug:

Vivi: Thanks again for your kind words and for your understanding.

Cider: I am sorry you were in such pain and I do hope you are feeling much better now. I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis back in January so I can relate to the pain issues. My bad spots are my lower back, my knees, ankles, fingers and chest(breastbone).

Paper: No worries at all. I am sorry to hear of your loss and I can see where you were coming from. I think sometimes we are all guilty of not explaining ourselves and of course this being the internet a posts tone can be misinterpreted very easily. I have been through so much with my daughter in her short life but she has been worth every single bit of it and then some. Yes part of me is wishing she was just like the other kids but then I look at her and see her fighting spirit and realize she is exactly the way God intended for her to be and I am so thankful He blessed me with such a beautiful and strong young lady to love and to raise.

As it stands now she is still running the fever so she will be home from school tomorrow and I’ll be taking her to the doctor. As for the special Mass…yes we were both disappointed we missed it but there is always next year (Did I forget to mention my daughter loves going to Mass:D ). In the meantime we will look forward to next Sunday and the Feast of All Saints.


that stinks, sorry to hear that… last speacial mass I went to was to celebrate Bishop Burbage’s 25th anniversary being ordained, it was a terrific service! Odd that I got to go, usually I don’t.


To multi quote just click the button on the right side of posts that has the quote marks as you go down the thread reading. When you are ready to reply click reply and they will each show up as separate quotes.


I hope you feel better, Cider. I know how you feel. I’ve often had pain that will keep me up all night, and my parish only has a morning mass. I’m usually very exhausted and can’t get up in the mornings. Sometimes, I can’t avoid missing mass.

My Great grand mother used to have her children say the rosary when they couldn’t go to church. The lived on a farm in Wisconsin, and you know how it snows up there. I try to continue the prayer tradition. The rosary is just like a little church. It doesn’t replace the Sacraments, but it sure does help teach respect and reverence for them. :slight_smile:


Thank you everyone. I am feeling a little better this evening. I’m sure the pain pills are part of it LOL

Sonic, I love that tradition of praying the rosary if you miss mass.


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