Spilling the seed within marriage


God and His Church are very much part of every, single aspect of our lives.


IVe never considered to pray during sex. That’s interesting


It’s expensive if you both are working full time.


And what about the wife disregarding the husband’s feelings snd convictions? They are just as valid as her’s.


You’re kidding, correct?

I don’t even have children and know this isn’t the case. Also take into account the OP has three children and one has special needs. You have no idea how much money the care of the third child may be costing them in specialists.

Children are not inexpensive.


The Wedding Night Prayer in Tobit is beautiful:

When Sarah’s parents left the bedroom and closed the door behind them, Tobiah rose from bed and said to his wife, “My sister, come, let us pray and beg our Lord to grant us mercy and protection.”

She got up, and they started to pray and beg that they might be protected. He began with these words:

“Blessed are you, O God of our ancestors;

blessed be your name forever and ever!

Let the heavens and all your creation bless you forever.

You made Adam, and you made his wife Eve

to be his helper and support;

and from these two the human race has come.

You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone;

let us make him a helper like himself.’

Now, not with lust,

but with fidelity I take this kinswoman as my wife.

Send down your mercy on me and on her,

and grant that we may grow old together.

Bless us with children.”

They said together, “Amen, amen!”

Then they went to bed for the night.


This my sound a bit weird, but I found out for me that I can pray in every situation, and if this feels strange to me, it´s a sign of not doing what I should do according god´s will. I was suprised, too that I don´t find praying in this case weird.


I don’t know if I could think much during the act. But then again I’m a man and we are wired differently


I think before is more fitting than during - but the state of mind of a person can be “prayer ready” even when not directly praying (just my view) if there are no feelings of being extremely far away from god because of sin or a wrong focus.
I think women and men are pretty similar in this case, at least, they were design to be fitting in this, too :slight_smile:


For the life of me, I can’t understand how you’re attracted to a Catholic forum. Please join the Church and offer Catholic responses. Remember this line from the Bible: John 6:53 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you."


We do not “sell our souls to the devil” by following a certain conscience after informing ourselves as best we can of Church principles on the matter. As the issue of contracepting is not simply black and white there is some room for faithful Catholics to use contraceptives in unusual circumstances without losing their relationship with God.


I give good advice. Why does it bother you that I am here?


I agree. He has the burden in his heart of the financial reality of having. a child and money does not grow on trees. There is a financial reality of having a child and he has valid concerns as well. He needs to be reassured that you are well versed on the subject of NFP, , respect his concerns and reassure him that you are willing to be physically available to him during times you are not likely to become pregnant.

I think the OP is a wonderful person caring for children and open to life and I pray this couple can work this issue out with a priest or counselor so it does not destroy their marriage.

God bless you and your husband, OP.


I believe your post is inappropriate Lara from a number of angles.

QG - your responses so far as I am concerned are helpful.
But then I believe seeking comes before finding rather than the reverse :wink:.


Yes, needlessly destroying an otherwise good marriage is not being open to life!


And neither did I say that. I hope you are not preaching to the choir just so you can respond to my post.

Artificial birth control is not allowed, which is the principle here. It is not allowed. If you practice it, you are against the Church’s teaching and you are selling your soul to the Devil.

There are obviously circumstances where artificial birth control is allowed. For example, pills, if they are used for medical treatment on a medical condition of a patient. There may be other factors. However, following our conscience on this can be risky especially if we already had a pre-conceived notion in disagreeing with the Church’s teaching on this. In an exceptional circumstance like this, one has to consult the priests probably for advice and decision.


The subject here is withdrawal method, which is a sin. It is one of the methods of artificial birth control.

The issue here is the wife (OP) does not want to practice this but her husband does. It seems she is being obligated to follow suit at the risk of tainting her relationship with the husband. And for that, we see lots of sympathy here for her, and I should say, I too.

A poster gave a Church’s teaching saying that she did not sin because it was the husband who did (withdrawing), not her.

A moral question here, and I am not too sure, is whether she is being forced/raped by the husband? Or that she simply not in a position to stop whatever the husband is doing (obviously).

Now, she knew that the husband would withdraw. In that sense she is an accomplice. Conversely, in normal circumstances when withdrawal method is used for artificial birth control, it is usually the decision of both husband and wife.

Question is, should she refuse to have sex during her fertile stage knowing full well her husband will be employing withdrawal method?

I am not going to answer that. I thought it is not as clear cut but I would in this case need a priest to arbitrate to give advice for the sake of clarity.


As a couple they should be “on the same page”. They need to see a Priest ASAP and get this settled.


Don’t see any posts on here from a member of the clergy, a priest or deacon. I would take everything you have heard here with a big grain of salt. Then go find a good priest or several, and get some good advice.


I would suggest finding a NFP class in your area and attend with your husband.

A lot of people remember being taught the scare tactics from Sex Ed classes that you can get pregnant at anytime of the month. It was a myth originally created to scare kids into abstinence, and then later to scare them into using a condom.

God Bless

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