Spilling the seed


#1

A long time ago when I was in high school, I was told it was a mortal sin to "spill the seed" because the seed was what was needed to create life and the seed was only to be a part of the process of creating new life during marriage. 20 years ago, a medical procedure that saved my life also destroyed my seed. I never thought about this until after 36 years of marriage, my wife developed Alzheimer's disease and after 42 years of marriage, she needed to move into a care facility where she could be be cared for properly. That is when I began to spill the seed; oh wait, no, I did not as the seed was non-existent. What was spilled was simply semenal fluid. This was never an issue while my wife was cognizant and I never had the urge to spill the seed but now she is like a 2-month old baby and any contact of a sexual nature would be perceived as torture by her as she has not recognized me in over 2.5 years. I have also remained faithful to her over our 46 years of marriage. And, by the way, at our ages (70's), procreation is impossible.
So my question: is spilling only semenal fluid a mortal sin?


#2

I am very sorry that you are faced with losing your wife to this awful disease.

Yes, masterbation is a grave sin against the sixth commandment.

However, the Church does not base its teaching on contraception, masterbation, and other sins against the sixth commandment on what you wrote above. That may have been how someone explained it to a young teenager many years ago, but “spilling seed” is NOT the foundation of the Church’s teaching on why this is wrong.


#3

I found my answer. The catholic definition, which can be found in many catechisms, is that " this is a grave misuse of the procreative faculty. The sinfulness arise entirely from setting in motion the generative powers while preventing them from achieving their natural, divinely intended purpose."

Notice the emphasis is solely on the creation of life. When one or both spouses are sterile, procreative and generative powers are nonexistent; it is the sterility that prevents achieving their natural, divinely intended purpose.


#4

[quote="ir1shguy, post:3, topic:243258"]
I found my answer. The catholic definition, which can be found in many catechisms, is that " this is a grave misuse of the procreative faculty. The sinfulness arise entirely from setting in motion the generative powers while preventing them from achieving their natural, divinely intended purpose."

Notice the emphasis is solely on the creation of life. When one or both spouses are sterile, procreative and generative powers are nonexistent; it is the sterility that prevents achieving their natural, divinely intended purpose.

[/quote]

Dear brother in Jesus.
Maybe you would like to read Humanae Vitae?
The Church is clear on this, the sexual act is naturally and By God ordered towards procreation and unity. Both these aspects have to be present at every act, they may not
be seperated, nor may they sacrificed (eg. by masturbation) nor frustrated (by contraception).
You are called to live in continence with every other single person, priest, and those who are disabled or otherwise hindered because of dysfunctions or illnesses.
If you have lived a life of integrity with your wife up until now, why do you now start breaking the commandments?
Sexual orgasm is not a right, but a gift that comes with being in the marital embrace. Thank God you have had that for so many years, and don't start seeking to change the gift of sexuality into something different than what it is.


#5

these are questions for a priest in confession


#6

I'm not quite sure why the church teaches that masterbation is a sin. But then I can see that sex can also be considered only in marriage and then for procreation. I think because we have been mired in materiality and fullfilling our desire for so long in can become ingrained like jealous and such. We are not focused on serving others but ourselves. I can't think of anywhere in the bible it saying masterbation is a sin but the magisterium believes so. I have read something about "spilling seed" and don't quite know how to take it but I don't believe that the term sin is used anywhere.

B


#7

Masturbation is a selfish act during which one usually fantasies about someone else or about a situation that is perhaps alien to their present state in life.

It's all about ME and that runs contrary to the message of Christ.


#8

Your wife is in a care facility and all you can think about is masturbation?

Seriously?

I feel sorry for your wife.


#9

Juliane…totally uncalled for.

Some folk find the loneliness and the stress of the situation so hard to deal with tat they are easy prey to temptations.

Just because he is in the unfortunate situation where his wife is in a care facility does not stop him from being a sexual being.


#10

This seems flawed. You mentioned

[quote="GraceDK, post:4, topic:243258"]

the sexual act is naturally and By God ordered towards procreation and unity. Both these aspects have to be present at every act.

[/quote]

.
Since one of these aspects is missing (procreation) when both (or just one) spouses are sterile, it then follows that the act must under penalty of sin be avoided. I know I am sterile due to full body radiation as part of a cure for cancer 20 years ago. I doubt most senior over 70 couples avoid the act.


#11

Wow! All I can think about is my wife.I visit my wife daily and feed her lunch or dinner as she is much like a baby, a 2-month old baby with no expression. I hold her hand and “dance” with her as she sits in a wheelchair. My “spill” is rare, perhaps a couple times a month. What a heartless response. There is an old expression - you cannot understand until you can walk in one’s shoes.


#12

[quote="ir1shguy, post:10, topic:243258"]
This seems flawed. You mentioned
.
Since one of these aspects is missing (procreation) when both (or just one) spouses are sterile, it then follows that the act must under penalty of sin be avoided. I know I am sterile due to full body radiation as part of a cure for cancer 20 years ago. I doubt most senior over 70 couples avoid the act.

[/quote]

They don't have to avoid the act. They have to perform the act so that it mimics the procreative/unitive meaning of the act.It is ok for them since they are not purposefully witholding either aspect from the other spouse. Masturbation can never be procreative or unitive. Therefore it is a sinful use of ones sexual organs. The marital act is the physical sign of the mystical union in the sacrament of marriage. It is how the couple renews their marriage vows.When the couple come together they reflect the love in the Trinity which is procreative and unitive. That is the purpose of our sexuality in marriage.

I'm sorry you have such a difficult cross. I understand it well. But it is a cross and Christ will help you carry it.


#13

Irishguy, there is nothing wrong with the call to chastity. It is what you are being called to and for some it is the Cross.

Some of us (like me!!) are being called to it in our marriage whilst being at the prime of our sexual lives!

It's difficult, even the Holy Father told us recently that he knows it's difficult, yet it is necessary for those who aim for holiness.


#14

[quote="ir1shguy, post:11, topic:243258"]
Wow! All I can think about is my wife.I visit my wife daily and feed her lunch or dinner as she is much like a baby, a 2-month old baby with no expression. I hold her hand and "dance" with her as she sits in a wheelchair. My "spill" is rare, perhaps a couple times a month. What a heartless response. There is an old expression - you cannot understand until you can walk in one's shoes.

[/quote]

I cannot be objective about this subject and I should not have posted. I have asked the administrators to remove my post. Good luck with your situation.


#15

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:14, topic:243258"]
I cannot be objective about this subject and I should not have posted. I have asked the administrators to remove my post. Good luck with your situation.

[/quote]

Good. Next time be a little more charitable and a lot more Christian.


#16

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:8, topic:243258"]
Your wife is in a care facility and all you can think about is masturbation?

Seriously?

I feel sorry for your wife.

[/quote]

So when your spouse is in a faculity you should NEVER EVER be concerned about your personal welfare. It is always about them and NEVER about you. If you have any feelings for yourself you are a SOB for not considering them and only you. What a bunch of BS.:mad:


#17

[quote="LIT56RD, post:16, topic:243258"]
So when your spouse is in a faculity you should NEVER EVER be concerned about your personal welfare. It is always about them and NEVER about you. If you have any feelings for yourself you are a SOB for not considering them and only you. What a bunch of BS.:mad:

[/quote]

Look, I said I was sorry for posting, and I asked the admins to remove my post. I can't be objective about this subject. Do you have anything to offer the OP or do you just want to yell at me?


#18

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:17, topic:243258"]
Look, I said I was sorry for posting, and I asked the admins to remove my post. I can't be objective about this subject. Do you have anything to offer the OP or do you just want to yell at me?

[/quote]

If you said, wrote, posted it, you more than likely meant it. Other wise you wouldn't have said it in the first place. If you said it you meant it.


#19

[quote="LIT56RD, post:18, topic:243258"]
If you said, wrote, posted it, you more than likely meant it. Other wise you wouldn't have said it in the first place. If you said it you meant it.

[/quote]

She said she was sorry, give her a break. She obviously learned something about her biases. If you knew what this woman is going thru in her life (walked in her shoes) you might be a little less judgmental yourself. You see when ones family is currently being torn apart by porn abuse, it can make you a bit sensitive.


#20

Irishguy, you sound like a great husband. I understand your situation, it is tough. I would just mention the situation in confession and continue on visiting you wife. Now that you know, you refrain from the error you were doing. Deep down I am sure it is a great comfort to her soul to have you visit her.


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