Spin-off: Did you go to a "wedding" of a gay family member or friend?


#1

If so, how did you come to your decision? What were the reactions of those around you? If not, why didn’t you go? How did you come to that decision? And what were the reactions of those around you (other family members or friends)? Would you change your decision now, if you could? Why?

I have a very specific reason why I’m asking these questions, and will spill it in a bit, but wanted to see what the rest of you did in this situation and how it worked out. . . ?


#2

There is no such thing as a wedding for gay people. You cannot attend that which does not exist.

If you attend a simulation of a wedding in which two same-sex people make vows then you are witnessing something gravely disordered and may be committing a sin yourself.

No, I have not attended such a ceremony nor would I ever consider doing so.


#3

I did, before I realized the Catholic Church was calling me home. I am unsure as to whether or not I would attend the ceremony again, and honestly prefer to not think about it. I pray about it so much, because these men have taken me in before when I was in danger, and strongly supported my journey towards the Church… I can’t say that I am unhappy that they’ve found happiness and chosen to do it. I can however, say that I don’t believe that their “marriage” stands for anything, but rather I believe that their friendship does. They live celibate, and STRONGLY advocate that lifestyle for young homosexuals, which makes it even harder for me to think about- I honestly don’t know what to think. Just that I love them as my brothers.


#4

Are you kidding? I wouldn’t go to my brothers Protestant wedding on the beach because he knew better… and he married a woman!


#5

I wouldn’t go, no matter how much I cared about my friend or family member…


#6

I would go, simply because family and friends matter to me.


#7

Would you support a family member while they go to get an abortion?

Sin is sin and can’t be supported. I do not plan to attend my brother’s ceremony, when that day inevitably comes.


#8

Absolutely right! Good analogy!


#9

I did…but it was years before I converted. I was totally fine with that lifestyle at the time, and had several gay and lesbian friends.
Would I now? No way. I know better now. I understand what the sacrament of marriage really is, so there is no way I would show any support for desecrating that sacrament.
And to answer the question I know is coming, no, I no longer have any gay friends. We have lost contact, and I prefer it that way. I can no more support that lifestyle than I can support heterosexuals who live in fornication. :frowning:
It is not charity to confirm someone in their sin. One of the spiritual acts of mercy is to admonish sinners. Supporting them is not helping anyone, just maintaining their sinfulness and keeping them further from repentance. Does that mean being hateful to them? No. It means showing by your words and actions the love of Christ. Christ told the sinners he healed, “Go and sin no more”, not “it’s ok, just keep doing what you’re doing as long as it makes you ‘happy’.”


#10

I am sorry that family means nothing to you.


#11

That is extremely presumptuous and judgmental, not to mention rude and incorrect. Family means more to me than anything in the world. In fact, if I were to follow your line of making assumptions about people I don’t know in any way, I would say that I care more about my family than you do, because I care about whether or not they make it to Heaven, whereas you seem to care only about keeping your relationship nice and intact.
(note: I hate getting personal like that, but I also hate it when people do the same)

Yes, and I would support an ill-advised pregnacy as well. I would also support giving the baby up for adoption.

So you don’t believe abortion is murder? You would follow your sister/brother, saying “I’m so glad you are doing this, it’s a great idea,” while they get an abortion.

How about this: if you knew your father was having an affair, would you say to him, “dad, I really support your decision to have an affair. I trust your judgment, so I won’t tell mom.”

You support it every time you sit next to a woman in church who is using birth control, or the man who is cheating on his wife, or the teen sleeping with his girlfriend.

That doesn’t even remotely make sense. That’s like saying you support sin just by living, because whenever you are near someone else you are supporting their sins.

That is simply your loss. You do not get to heaven any quicker because you shun people.

Ah, but I do not shun anyone. Once again, you are assuming you know me and are being judgmental.


#12

I was faced with the decision of attending my best friend’s same sex marriage “wedding” celebration very recently.

Here’s the link to the thread I started about it:

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=252614

**Post #19 **shares how my prayers were answered.

(I ended up NOT attending, btw).

May I ask why you started the thread? Were you invited to such a wedding?


#13

Yep, SDMom, your thread was why I started this spin-off. :slight_smile: I’ve seen several situations of attending gay “weddings” here, and just thought I’d ask if anyone did/did not go and why, based on your original thread. Hope that’s okay. :stuck_out_tongue:

For me, yes, I was invited to the commitment ceremony of my aunt (actually DH’s aunt) and her partner of 10 years; this happened eight years ago, and we didn’t attend. I was wondering what others, in addition to you, decided to do in this situation. :slight_smile:


#14

Oh, I don’t mind you starting this thread at all! It’s interesting to hear of others experiences regarding this matter. How is your relationship now with DH’s aunt? How did she respond at the time that you would not attend her “wedding?” Please don’t feel obligated to answer these questions if they are too personal.

God Bless!


#15

I was invited to one several years ago for a very good friend of mine. We became friends before he “came out” but even afterwards we remained good friends. However, when he invited me to the committment ceremony I chose not to go. I love my friend but I cannot support something like that. You know, love the sinner, etc.

As a side, my wife once chose not to attend a baby shower for my pregnant, unmarried cousin. In both instances, attending these events shows support for sinful behavior. We’re perfect by no means, but there is no sense in adding to our sins.


#16

I’m looking forward to attending my brother-in-law’s wedding to his partner in California next month. After he officiated (he’s a non-Roman Priest) and arranged (as in, got the cake, the flowers, the music, the performers, the Church…) my own wedding, there is no way I would miss his! They have both been like real brothers to me, and my husband will be his best man so I’m really looking forward to celebrating with them.

Of course, my faith has no problem with modern homosexuality. Other of his family are Catholics and won’t be attending, but have the handy excuse of travel expenses if they don’t want the whole faith thing to come up (and I doubt they do, to be honest).


#17

#18

After I read your post I called some friends who are Jewish. I asked them if your statement regarding “modern homosexuality” was accurate, in their experience.

First of all they didn’t know what term meant (neither do I–as opposed to what-- ancient homosexuality?)

As for homosexuality, I was given a quick primer which revealed that your views are probably that of Reform Judaism, Reconstructionist Judaism or possibly the liberal wing of Modern Orthodox. How does that fly with you?

My friends, self described Orthodox and Conservative, tell me they would not attend an event that glorifies acts forbidden by the Torah.

It seems that the conservative wings of different religions may have more in common than liberal and conservative wings of the same religion.

Go figure.


#19

DH’s niece got “married” to her partner several years ago… and no, we did not attend the “wedding”.
It was not easy at all… caused one of the biggest family upsets… even 5-6 years later there are still raw wounds within that side of the family. DH’s relationship with his sister has never been the same… and even phone conversations with his niece are cold and challenging.
:shrug: Not sure what other choice we had… we simply couldn’t fathom going. :o


#20

I honestly don’t know what I would do. The pain that I would cause the person in the ceremony would make it hard to forgive myself :frowning: Especially because my gay cousin and her partner were there for my wedding. Plus she may not hold the same beliefs as I do. I would hope something would come up so that I wouldn’t have to use the “no, I am not going because it is a sin in God’s eyes” reason.


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