Spiritual directors?


I’m interested n trying to find one, but don’t know where to start. For a number of reasons, I don’t feel it would be appropriate for me to ask this of our parish priest, and I’d feel uncomfortable asking a priest from another parish to do this - they’re so busy keeping up with the needs of their own church!

What about a lay person? Is this done?

Where laity or religious, how do you go about finding one?

Can anyone give me any guidance as to how to proceed?

Thank you, and God bless you!

In His love,



I’m not sure I would want any person in charge of directing my spirituality on that kind of a level. My own that would fit into your picture is free, he’s called the Holy Spirit. It’s simply something to personal and specailized to the individual themselves when it comes down to it. This is not to say that we don’t also already have spiritual directors of sorts regardless, they are the ones within the church leadership and as you say, their time is limited, so by all means, accept what they have to teach and guide you along during the times you have with them regardless and let God fill in the rest with you directly as needed.

Luckily we have his word to draw upon as well for further direction, so looking at this this way, your already have them and they are there in place for you right now. I also feel that if someone did manage to carve out some program and label themselves as being one, such as a personal coach, it would cheapen the core, or nature of what it is in the first place.


you could ask your parish priest to recommend one


It appears you have a misunderstanding of the role of a spiritual director. Yes, the Holy Spirit is directing, but the Spirit works through the director. A good director will not lead you down his or her spiritual path but help the directee to listen to what the Spirit is telling the directee, even if this path is different than the director’s. All the great saints have had spiritual directors and speak about being obedient to their directors, whom God has put in their life to help them discern His will. Priests, deacons and religious are required to have spiritual directors…why?..because we can’t always trust what we think we are hearing God say to us. An objective voice helps us to sort out what we think we are hearing from what God is telling us. Anyone discerning a vocation is asked to go into direction. If we could do it all on our own then the Church would not ask this of those who are to lead us in the spiritual life…and if the Church sees this as important for their leaders, then we, as laity, should see it as important for us as well. There are many people who say that the Spirit is leading them in one direction, and it is obvious that they are really heading in the wrong direction. That said, it is important to find a good director and one that does not try to introduce the directee to the “spirituality of the month” so to speak, but one who is faithfilled, prayerful and very faithful to the Spirit and, I might add, in direction themselves.


Hi Joan -

You’re speaking to the sort of thing I’ve heard described as spiritual direction, but Catholics aren’t in the majority there. The web sites I’ve seen that list spiritual directors do not list any Catholic spiritual directors within a reasonable distance from my home. There are some directors nearby who belong to other faiths - one Jewish, one listed as “other”. But how do you find a Catholic director? The priest I’ve spoken to has not been responsive - the poor guys are S-O-O busy.




This website is a treasure trove of information about spiritual direction. Look at the topic index and you’ll find all kinds of great information about what direction actually entails and about finding and obtaining a director. The blogger is our own member, lifeisawesome. You could also search here for his threads. They’re very interesting as well.



Thank you so much!


Try contacting the diocese or a local retreat center or Abbey. They often have directors. I would be leary of getting a director off a web site. The best way is through recommendation. Ask you priest if he can recommend one. YOu are right, parish priests are usually too busy or they are not really trained in it. They get a class or two on pastoral counseling/spiritual direction but that is really not enough for someone who gives ongoing direction.


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