Hello and a blessed Sunday to all!
For several years I’ve felt very much drawn to religious life, and last year I began visiting convents and monasteries. Then after quite a bit of discernment with the assistance of a spiritual director and the vocations director at a particular convent I knew without a doubt and I’m still certain that God’s will for me is to join a particular religious community.
Ever since I started visiting this community there has been some spiritual warfare. Im a skeptical type of person so if someone ever told me about a vision they had or fighting demons are house hauntings or anything else of the sort… I would have a hard time believing them. I’d think it is in their head, likely just their imagination. So when things happen to me i think the same thing… It’s just in my head, i’m going batty!!
The first time i visited this parlticular community i immediately felt at home. It was a wonderful but short visit. The second time i visited them, however, i felt like i was in the middle of some spiritual battle. My prayer was incredibly dry, when i tried to sleep at the convent i would lay awake in fear for hours. I remember trying to think objectively about my fear. What was I afraid of? I couldnt think of anything so I just shrugged it off, rolled over and went to sleep. I would also be sitting somewhere praying and would feel like some sort of evil spirit was right beside me basically huffing and puffing in anger. It really freaked me out but I just ignored it knowing that if it is not in my head, Christ is infinitely stronger than Satan himself so it doesnt really matter.
After some serious discernment I decided to apply. I have not submitted my application yet but I have it nearly ready to hand in. but ever since I conceded to God that I would apply to this community instead of the one I originally wanted I have become very sick and am now waiting for major surgery and cannot apply until this medical nightmare is dealt with. Another girl who applied ands accepted was in a big car accident before her entrance date and is now waotong to get better from that before entering.
So is this sort of spiritual warfare normal when pursuing religious life? What do you think about this sort of stuff?