So today I attended my second session of the Anchor Your Faith course I’m doing. Topic for tonight’s session: sin and forgiveness. As some of you may know from my previous post, I suffer from “impurity” problems along with doubts about the Church’s teaching on these issues. I realised from the teaching tonight and from the sense of guilt I had at this point that the Church is probably right about these things even if I can’t intellectually understand why. I think God showed me tonight what a miserable sinner I can be. I want to fix that, but I’m not sure I can.
I want to pursue conversion, but I’m not sure I’m not just kidding myself that I could ever follow the Church’s teachings on these matters. I also have a logistical problem - my parish doesn’t seem to offer RCIA (nothing on website or newsletters anyway). The parishes which do in my area offer it on a Monday night, when I often have to attend meetings. I would feel very nervous about asking the local priest about this, especially as I have been attending mass regularly and following what everyone else does reasonably (not receiving of course) and he probably thinks I’m a Catholic anyway. I don’t know what to do. Its like I know where I should be, but I just can’t find the door.