i’m so sorry beyond words, graham, that you have suffered from depression and anxiety for so long. i will definitely keep you in my constant thoughts and deepest prayers, not only when it comes to your journey towards the Truth but when it comes to your hope and healing as well. i have a feeling that when you grow comfortable with the Truth and the way that God is lovingly calling you to Himself, your anxiety and depression will become a hope beyond anything you’ve ever experienced, as it will become a hope completely and forever in Him, a hope that will never abandon you, a hope reaching out to you to save you from darkness. i completely understand how your world is turning upside down as you are questioning your beliefs—it is my deepest hope and prayer that you find the Truth, and that it transforms your life the way it did mine.
instead of turning to Buddhism to help with your depression, meditation and contemplative prayer are also part of Christianity, and i am interested in learning more about both of them myself. because i don’t know much about them myself, here are some resources that you might want to look at concerning Christian meditation and contemplative prayer:
The World Community for Christian Meditation | wccm.org/home.asp?pagestyle=home
Christian Meditation – Is it really Christian? | allaboutgod.com/christian-meditation.htm
An overview of some Christian ways of meditation | frimmin.com/faith/meditation.php
An introduction to Christian meditation | jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/13763.htm
if you would like more resources, simply let me know, and i’ll see if i can find some more good ones for you.
graham, please know that i will definitely keep you in my constant thoughts and deepest prayers as you continue your sincere and beautiful search for Truth, that will inevitably lead you to Jesus Christ, our Lord. please know that i will pray that God heals you of the obsessive thoughts, but doesn’t lessen in any way your thirst to find out more about the holy and true Catholic Faith.
let me pray for you now:
Loving Heavenly Father, i lift up graham to You now, in the deep hope and prayer that You would assist him in his sincere and beautiful search for Truth, that will inevitably lead him to You, as he learns Who You are in Love, in beauty, in glory. i praise and thank You, Lord, with all my heart that beats for You alone, that You are pursuing graham in love just as You called my name through my own darkness and brought me to Yourself, healing me of my own scars and bringing me life and hope, light and peace, joy beyond anything i ever could have imagined before You found me. i thank You and praise You that graham is beginning to feel a thirst for the holy and true Catholic Faith as you draw him closer to Yourself and to the Truth that will lead him not only to You, but to our Blessed Mother and to the saints, who i ask to pray with me now for graham, that You would lead him completely and forever into the Truth and heal him completely and forever of the darkness of his pagan beliefs, and heal him of his depression and anxiety as well. i pray that the love, light and life of Your precious Holy Spirit would touch his heart and not only replace his depression and anxiety with all that You gave to me when You called me into Your loving arms, but replace the darkness of paganism with the light of Your Truth, and speak to him, convincing him that what he is pursuing and searching for is the holy truth, and the light that will expel all darkness that remains in his life. i pray, Father, that You would continue to call graham to Yourself, healing him in every way, encouraging and supporting him in every way so that he will soon become a devout, dedicated member of the holy and true Catholic Faith. i pray that You would heal him of his confusion and obsessive thoughts, while letting his thirst to find You remain. i pray that You would pour out Your love and blessings upon graham, and that You would grant him a glorious, beautiful, blessed New Year during which You would pursue him relentlessly and draw him continuously to Yourself, until he is completely caught up in You and truly knows Your Love and is truly experiencing the glory of Your abundant life. encourage graham, Lord, to continue to seek You, to continue to attend Mass and to pray, and i pray that You would speak to his heart and let him know that You are the One, True, Living God, and that You are the world’s salvation. i pray all this in Jesus’ precious, mighty Name, and ask for the intercession of Our Blessed Mother, Mary, and all the angels and saints, so that together we may offer this prayer to You, Father, that comes from the heart, trusting that Your perfect and holy will is done in graham’s life, leading him forever to You alone. Amen.
God bless you, graham. please know that you are far from alone in your confusion and obsessive thoughts (i suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder and scrupulosity, so i can definitely relate to you in that aspect!) and that God will certainly heal you and draw you closer to Himself, into the light of the complete and holy Truth that i know will transform your life completely and forever. please stay strong, please stay safe and please take care of yourself—and know that i am always thinking of you and praying for you with all of my heart. have an amazing, beautiful, blessed and fruitful New Year, and know that i will remember you during my nightly prayers! God bless!
in the peace and love of Christ,