SPLIT: Wedding Question

Hello, I have a slight variation on this question.

My fiancee’ and I will be married in two weeks. We are each the only Catholics in our family. After discussing it with our priest we decided that we would attend Mass on our wedding day (a Saturday) and after Mass, have a private ceremony that is truly just a simple exchange of vows. We’ll sing a hymn, exchange consent, vows and rings, then make a presentation at the altar of the Holy Family, have a final blessing and hymn and that will be all.

Now, let me say, Father is happy about the devotion/altar presentation and there will be a small explanation in the Order of Service that we hand out so that our non-Catholic guests will understand what we are doing and why.

I have a 14 year old daughter who obviously is Catholic and will be present. Having no attendants I’d like to have her hold my flowers while seated in a pew near ourselves and when we walk across to make the presentation, I’d like to have her join us. She will, after all, be a part of this family we are becoming. We plan to stay at the altar and pray together for a few moments and then she could re-take her seat for the remainder of the service. Can anyone offer insight into whether or not that would be appropriate?

Before you say it, understand that I just had this idea yesterday and talking to my priest about it before the ceremony, unless I do it 20 minutes before, is not likely. He is nearly impossible to reach. The last meeting I had with him took over a month to secure. If someone can provide me information I can look up to suggest whether or not this will work, I can send him a note of my intention so that he will be aware and can weigh in if he feels it urgent enough. But if I try to phone or email to ask him for his counsel before hand, I know from experience I will have no answer at all until it is too late to prepare my daughter.

I’m not trying to do anything subversive here, just would like to understand whether that is reasonable before I pose the question.

Thanks to all for your input.


It sounds lovely! And we did something similar during our wedding with my two children.

Many blessings!

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