Spooning with my girlfriend?


#1

Is spooning with my girlfriend permissible?


#2

spooning usually leads to a lot more eventually. Is this girlfriend going to become a wife. if so you will have tons of time for spooning.


#3

In and of itself, I don't see it as sinful. If it leads you to become aroused or have impure thoughts, then I would consider it sinful. That said, I certainly think it qualifies as an occasion of sin, which we are to avoid. Given the potential that it could arouse either or you or lead to something more inappropriate, I would advise against it.


#4

Sure, laying down and pressing your pelvis against hers is a SWELL idea.

Give me a break, would you do it in front of her dad, your grandmother, the priest and the congregation at Mass? If not, then you don't do it with her before you are married.


#5

I love this reply :), I think that this is the best way to determine if you should do something or not.


#6

That's treading on dangerous waters.


#7

kage ar,

harsh


#8

I think it is fine as long as you are not lustful and she is not either. If you are spooning because you love her and not because it just “feels good” and your thoughts, actions, and desires stay pure you are fine.

It may be a fine line for some people. Sometimes you may not be able to do it, sometimes she may not be able to. But, if you can do it and stay pure and clean [it is possible] you are fine.

**


#9

Hmmmm...I for one know I have never been able to do it without being seriously tempted.


#10

Spooning leads to forking!

Ah, I don’t know if there’s a clear answer to this question or not; you will have to discern for yourself (as honestly as possible) how sinful it is based on your own inclinations. During my teen relationships I was about 50/50 on whether I’d feel snuggly love or aroused while spooning. :shrug:


#11

That one’s going to stick in my head for a long time…


#12

Spooning involves lying down, doesn't it? Together? Don't do it.


#13

[quote="AlmostHeaven, post:10, topic:193937"]
Spooning leads to forking!

Ah, I don't know if there's a clear answer to this question or not; you will have to discern for yourself (as honestly as possible) how sinful it is based on your own inclinations. During my teen relationships I was about 50/50 on whether I'd feel snuggly love or aroused while spooning. :shrug:

[/quote]

Which leads to baby sporks!


#14

lol
i don’t agree
we’re married but i still wouldn’t make love to my wife in front of her dad, or in front of my grandma, or in front of the priest, or in front of the congregation

nor would i take a shower in front of them as well

get my drift? thats not the best way to determine if you should do something or not


#15

Read what I actually SAID.

I said that if you won’t do it in public, don’t do it to/with your girl/boyfriend before you are married.

After marriage, then it is just would you do it in front of God, as God is part of your marriage. :thumbsup:


#16

I like that Kage Ar


#17

I may be crazy, but as one of the youth in the Catholic community, I feel that too many dead set “rules” turn a lot of youth away. If they cannot live out all the “rules” they will not live out any.

Basically, this is a call of chastity. If you can lie down together without getting aroused, with keeping a pure mind, if you have that control, you’re fine.

If you can kiss before marriage, staying pure, then you’re fine.

Just don’t keep pushing the boundaries. Stick with what you determine. My guy and I know what we can comfortably do w/o getting upset and feeling guilty. We’ve pushed the limits once or twice, and we discuss things. No, we didn’t do anything “bad,” we weren’t tempted for more, etc. *…

So, basically, you can do what to do if you can do chastely. No, I wouldn’t kiss infront of my parents. But, yes, I will cuddle infront of them. I’ll sit on his lap infront of grandparents, or curl up next to him on the couch. Those things are fine, if done purely, in a state of love, not lust.

In other words, you decide for yourself what you can do chastely, staying pure. You decide what is “too far’,” and what isn’t, based on your experiences, how you and your girlfriend react, etc. Remember, if you get married you’ll have time to do this stuff. But, hugs are fine. Kisses are fine. Cuddlings fine. Just remember: chastity, and God is always watching, even if no one else is.

Check out Jason Everet, if you want. He’s pretty good. *


#18

probably depends on who you are, and how in control of yourself you are. I would suggest that if one thinks that it might lead them to lose control of their will and engage in gravely sinful behavior then perhaps one ought consider very carefully whether they are mature enough to be courting.


#19

[quote="Emily2009, post:17, topic:193937"]
I may be crazy, but as one of the youth in the Catholic community, I feel that too many dead set "rules" turn a lot of youth away. If they cannot live out all the "rules" they will not live out any.

Basically, this is a call of chastity. If you can lie down together without getting aroused, with keeping a pure mind, if you have that control, you're fine.

If you can kiss before marriage, staying pure, then you're fine.

Just don't keep pushing the boundaries. Stick with what you determine. My guy and I know what we can comfortably do w/o getting upset and feeling guilty. We've pushed the limits once or twice, and we discuss things. No, we didn't do anything "bad," we weren't tempted for more, etc. *...

So, basically, you can do what to do if you can do chastely. No, I wouldn't kiss infront of my parents. But, yes, I will cuddle infront of them. I'll sit on his lap infront of grandparents, or curl up next to him on the couch. Those things are fine, if done purely, in a state of love, not lust.

In other words, you decide for yourself what you can do chastely, staying pure. You decide what is "too far'," and what isn't, based on your experiences, how you and your girlfriend react, etc. Remember, if you get married you'll have time to do this stuff. But, hugs are fine. Kisses are fine. Cuddlings fine. Just remember: chastity, and God is always watching, even if no one else is.

Check out Jason Everet, if you want. He's pretty good. *

I got to agree with Emily on this, not because I'm saying "Let's all spoon! It's fun!" but because I feel there is a bit of a lack of real understanding about the difference between lust and love.

I do firmly believe that kissing, hugging, and cuddling are perfectly fine in a romantic relationship not bound by marriage, provided they are done in love. If we try to push the idea down people's throats that they can't even do those things because "Oh, you might get aroused!" then we are kind of missing the point. Yes, avoid near occasions of sin, but do remember that love is a beautiful thing.

[/quote]


#20

If you even have to think about asking if it’s okay, that’s generally a good sign that it’s not okay :thumbsup:


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