spouse abuse

My daughter is a abuse relationship she has left her husband several times and keeps going back what is a mother to do

I never was in such situation (I am male, my sons are not in abuse situation) but the common sense says that your daughter is adult. Pray for her and pray for her husband, but let them live their own life. Help with other means only (with money, understanding, providing shelter) when your daughter asks for it.

Jesus,our Lords peace be with You.
Sorry for my bad english. Dear friend,I am a male,and can’t feel how a mother do,but as father of two own and one step-daughter,my own kids are a girl and a boy,both grown up. Sometimes a catholic marriages fails,and we need to know that. Your daughter is better of without a abusive husband. (And I think You know it.) There can be a solution with some sort of theraphy,but that is a huge “can” in that. I hope Your daughter do what is right,a man who abuse women are not worth living in a marriage.

Ma’am,

My prayers are with you and your daughter.

There is never, ever, a reason to stay with someone who has abused another. It is awful, in my opinion one of, if not the worst sin to commit.

Tell her to leave and get to a safe place, then plan her next move.

I have zero tolerance for anyone who would dare to even THINK about abusing their spouse. None.

Prayers your way.

Remind your daughter that there is no sin in leaving an abusive spouse especially if there are children to protect. It is true that the Church teaches that divorce doesn’t end a valid marriage, but it is not necessary to live in an abusive situation. She will be in my prayers.

That agrees with the advice I have seen in most cases.

thanks for all of your prayers. I pray for my daughter everyday and her husband there are 3 children involved two of the children belong to him and the oldest is from first husband that was killed in a auto accident. The oldest is beginning to hate her mother because the step father has never had anything to do with her and now he his abusing her mother that keeps going back to a bad relationship the small children ages 5 and 2 are already showing signs of how to be abusive to their mother by hitting her and kicking her on which the husband does to her. I just can’t understand why she can not break it off with him. He maluipate her everytime by saying he is going to change but never does. I have decided that what ever she wants to do with her life is fine but I am very concerned about the children. The oldest that is 12 year old girl is threating to run away from home. I pray and pray. If the mother founds out that she is threating to run away all she is going to do is holler at her and punish her. She is a good kid makes straight A and is in church every Sunday. Her mother and step dad do not go to church. I have always told them that they have to put God first. Please pray for her and the children.

Check this link out from the USCCB And when one takes a look at the psychological make up of an abuser, etc. Chances are that there may be a question of validity - but that is another thread for another day.

make sure you are not enabling any behavior or situation in that family that is conducive to the abuse

make sure your daughter has a safe haven for herself and the children when she is ready to leave

find her a good lawyer.

be ready to use the system when needed, that is what CPS and the cops are for.

If she keeps going back there is not much you can do, her self-esteem problems started long ago and will probably need professional help to conquer.

if your grandchildren are in a an abusive situation and you take no steps to report you may become part of the problem

Yes abusers manipulate. They also convince a woman that she is nothing and not worth loving and not worth anything. Your daughter is not thinking straight or she would get her kids out of there. He has torn down her self worth until she feels she is unable to leave. If she has no resources that is a problem too. Please urge her to seek help from a battered women’s shelter! They can help her understand that she needs to get away from him. If he is dangerous you need to report this to CPS, especially if you have any idea at all that he is abusing the children.

If there are children involved and you know that abuse is taking place, I would call social services and report them. Your daughter may choose to take a beating… But she has NO RIGHT allow her children observe it or get it either.

I suppose this means the children will be put into the system. Find out if you qualify to take them. ALL OF THEM…

This could get ugly. But I would not allow children to reside in an a abusive home.

I completely agree. If her children are in danger, you have a responsiblity to report the abuse. Domestic violence towards a mother often spreads to violence towards the children. There are far too many sad news stories where the mother stayed with an abusive man who started abusing and eventually killing her children. Please do not let your grandchildren become a statistic. Even if they are not targets of the abuse, witnessing it causes lifelong damage in itself.

It can be hard for a woman to leave a domestic violence situation for reasons that don’t make sense to other people. It becomes of web of lies and manipulations that is hard for them to escape from even if they want to. If you really want to help your daughter, the best thing to do is pray and talk to people who work with domestic violence victims. They would know what words and actions are likely to help her, and which ones will only push her further from you and deeper into the abuse. I would suggest having the names, addresses, and phone numbers of local crisis centers and hotlines on hand in case she decides to leave suddenly and needs help. You should also encourage her to locate important documents such as her children’s birth certificates and keep them secure.

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