My husband and I have grown together in the seven years we’ve been together and married.
Would I have married him straight off the bat at the beginning? Nope. Would he have married me? Nope.
My list is fairly simple:
- Kind and compassionate
- Loyal and faithful
He ticks all those boxes. He isn’t Catholic, but he participates when asked or needed. He is there, dependable, and a great partner.
I went to a Dr Edward Sri talk a few months ago, and he spoke about how marriage isn’t lovingly looking into each other’s eyes, reciting the rosary, in front of the fire. It’s also practicing the faith in real life.
I feel like many of your points are nearly obscure in the real world. People change, someone could tick every box whilst dating and then you get married, have a first child, and whoops 50% of it goes out of the window for the relationship and parenting to work. And vice versa, someone could barely fulfil 25% of the list, and then grows with you.
This list also seems to want to control an aspect of your life, which you can’t—other people. The dating pool becomes incredibly limited by your own design. Having some non-negotiables is recommended but such a long list raises red flags.
I would recommend asking yourself what the real purpose of this list is, because no person could fulfil all these points every minute of the day.