I have something on my mind, and not sure who to ask. Since I come to these forums daily, and have found wonderful advice, I thought I’d ask my question here:
My husband was very late coming home from work last night. 3 hours late. There was no phone call. We don’t own cell phones, but he has access to a phone at work.
As it turns out, a co-worker approached him late afternoon and asked if he would like a ride home earlier than his carpool ride. He accepted, as he had been at work since 7am. They left the office at 5:30pm and on the way home she asked if he would mind if they stopped off so she could drop something off with a friend. He didn’t mind.
The stop was at a local bar/restaurant. They went inside to find her friend, and sat down, she brought my husband a beer and began talking with her friend and two others at the table. He joined in the conversation. He mentioned to her at one point that he had been up since 6am and was feeling tired, she told him it would just be a few more minutes. He said the next thing he knew it was 10pm.
He got home at 10:30pm and sat in the car talking with her for another 15 minutes.
When he came in the house he crawled into bed and said he was tired. I asked if he was hungry and I told him I was glad he was ok, and I was just starting to worry, because he hadn’t called to let me know what happened. He let out a big sigh and told me what happened. I told him I loved him, gave him a kiss, rolled over to go to sleep. He let out another big annoying sigh, and out of no where said " I guess you don’t trust me".
I rolled back over and said in a kind and loving voice, I’m not angry, just thought you would have called to let me know what happened, either before leaving work, or using your co-workers cell phone. I told him I wasn’t angry, I just started to worry.
The co-worker he was with is single, and I have met her. She is very nice, a little flirty, with all the men in the office. This is the first time she has taken my husband home from work. She has called our home a few times, asking about work related situations, and a few times for advice about various things. They are friends on Facebook, and every once in a while she will go by my husband’s desk and drop off a candy bar, snack or drink. Her name comes up in a lot of work related conversations at home.
I went to sleep feeling a bit off thinking about my husband’s behavior, body language and tone of voice when he was telling me what happened. I woke this morning feeling better, yet something inside is telling me that I need to watch this situation.
I love and trust my husband, and we have talked about this subject before, opposite sex friendships. My husband thinks there is nothing wrong with them, and he has even said it is flattering when another woman pays him a compliment, or is flirtatious. He said at his age (47), it makes him feel good.
I feel so naive about these types of things. Down the road I don’t want to find myself in a situation where I look back and say… “I should have seen this coming.” Am I over reacting? I’ve heard people joke about “work spouses”, that have turned into emotional relationships.
I’ve been saying a rosary this morning asking for guidance and wisdom.
Thanks for any advice.