SSA and discernment to priesthood

hello everybody. I m currently discerning with a religious order that is considered to be “conservative”.

but i have a problem. i have same sex attractions. it’s a curse for me and i am so troubled. do you think the order would accept me?

don’t get me wrong, i am not gay. i reject gay culture, gay lifestyle and anything that is indecent and immoral. i was in love with opposite sex (almost twice; once very madly) but never pursued it because they are committed in some ways.

the attractions aren’t really strong and i could brush it off and get over it although it is not always easy. by the way i am almost 20.

do you think i would be rejected? the order is a clerical order so almost everybody gets ordained.

please pray for me.


You will almost certainly be rejected. The most likely reason is that the constitutions forbid your admittance, but whether they do or not, the CCE criteria rule you out.

I apologize for the previous poster’s complete and total lack of compassion.

It is very important for you to be completely honest about your SSA with your spiritual director and the vocation director. Many young men go through a period of sexual confusion, which may be what you are experiencing. The directors would help you figure that out. They may advise a delay, or if the SSA does not seem to be going away, you might be rejected. Do not take rejection by the order as rejection by God. He loves you madly and has a plan for you.

The thing is, the objective for you is to figure out God’s will for you and do it, not necessarily to be accepted by this particular order at this particular time.

God bless you as you discern.



I would recommend you to focus on your discernment process first and as part of it to talk about this issue with your spiritual director. Every order or congregation has their own set of criteria regarding admitting candidates and no matter what people tell you here in the forums or somewhere else, its really up to the specific order o congregation to decide their admission criteria.

Do not despair on this, be patient, hopeful and faithful to what God is asking you.



I would encourage you to visit the website of the Courage Apostolate. Specifically, I would urge you to review the following interviews with the founder, the late Father John Harvey, OSFS. Father Harvey, a moral theologian, spent a great deal of his priesthood ministering to those with same-sex attractions and helping them to remain chaste. When I was in seminary, I was privileged to attend some lectures given by the late Father Harvey. He was a truly holy and wise priest and what he says here may be of benefit to you.

Honesty and transparency on your part with regards to formation is so very important. The Church has suffered greatly from the actions of priests who were leading double lives. Even if you don’t open up about it with your community now, it will come up in spiritual direction or in some other formation-related way. As the Instruction on this issue states, it would be gravely dishonest hide your own homosexuality. Also, you need to really look hard at yourself. Can you really live in with a community of all men? For many with ssa, this would be a problem. What about pornography and masturbation? Are those issues for you? If so, it would be wise to hold off for a while.

Luis — I tried to send you this in a PM, but your inbox is full. So here goes:


I’m so glad to hear from you, and I will keep you in my prayers.

Regarding discernment and the like, one key question is this: in what are you putting your faith? “Do not put your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no help.” When we trust in God, the circumstances of our lives are in safe hands – even if nothing “goes our way”.

Jesus is Lord. But if this is true, this means that Jesus knows all about our sins, and loves us anyway. If Jesus is Lord, then NOTHING – not even the rejection of our superiors – can separate us from His love.

You are precious in the Father’s eyes. I remember vividly how harshly I used to judge myself for my attractions, but that kind of judgment brought me nowhere. Only when I could openly and honestly speak of my sins in the presence of someone who loved me – only then could I begin to experience God’s mercy. There is much, much more mercy there for me, and I (to be honest) I often flee from it.

I suspect that your vocation is not in your hands, but this is nothing to worry about. It is in God’s hands. Trust Him.


P.S. You may have a temptation to feel like you are “unjustly accused”, in this whole situation. When you feel that way, it’s good to remember that “the wages of sin is death”. No one is entitled to be a priest; it is the free gift of the Church. Don’t let the parasite resentment in.

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