SSA promiscuity and jealousy


This is an embarrassing thing to post so please don’t jump down my throat. The last time I posted an issue like this someone rudely told me “we are not your sex therapist!” I struggle with SSA and I am trying to be pure but now I am struggling with jealousy issues related to the promiscuity of other SSA/bisexual men . What I mean is I have a crush on a friend who used to be more than willing to satisfy my curiosity. (We never actually got together physically, thank God.) I had stopped talking to him but in a moment of loneliness I contacted him. It turns out he’s been talking to another guy. I’m really trying to move on, and part of me is glad that I don’t have to worry about him giving into me, but I can’t get rid of my jealous feelings. Finally, I’m having trouble letting him go, since I know I would never get a chance with someone like him. Are there any SSA men who are living chaste lives, who may have advice for me? I would also take advice from anyone who has faced jealousy after giving up an immoral relationship. Please try not to be rude to me, especially if you’ve never faced this issue. It is not easy to post about these things.


Things sometimes change. Instead of things involving our very primitive sex drive, look to the free gifts from the Holy Spirit. They are much, much greater than any pleasure involving sex.


I hope I’m not being offensive, but I don’t think your problem is exclusive to people with SSA. Lots of people have ended relationships for very legitimate reasons, but then felt jealous when they see the person happy with someone else. This is a really common feeling. I guess the best way to deal with it is to remind yourself that God has something much better planned for you.


Yeah, I don’t think this is something unique to SSA people. It’s fairly universal, regardless of the morality of the relationship.

Nearly everyone has been there, done that. And there’s nothing special you can do to get over it other than…get over it. :shrug: :slight_smile:


I admire your honesty and explaining of your problem.

This site may help you; one can even have telephone advice if there is not a meeting near you.


My guess is that many of us, for many reasons, can identify with having jealous feelings. I will readily admit to having trouble with this in my younger years, as I have aged the trouble has gone away. Truthfully, if you are struggling with SSA and fighting feelings of jealousy over another man and his relationship, you are componding your struggle. My guess is that you need to find a way to meet and friend some men who are struggling this same path with you. I would like to suggest you look up The Third Way and see if there is any help for you there. God bless you with strength as you move forward in your life.


Hang in there namax91! I am also SSA and I understand what you are talking about. Feelings can be very strong and usually out of our control. The key is what we do with them! I also struggle to stay pure, let’s face it, our current society does not help in this regard.

I look around and see gay marriage becoming the law of the land, and I see many others engaging in same sex relationships and it does cause me bouts of jealousy. Sometimes I wish I could do the same things. I try not to dwell on those thoughts and emotions and they soon pass. I keep reminding myself that to do that would be turning from God.

I think sometimes it is easy for those of us with SSA to forget that our “straight” or OSA, brothers and sisters have similar problems. I am sure there are many single men and women who are struggling to remain pure and are tempted to engage in immoral acts.


Please post a link to that thread. That kind of behavior is unacceptable and needs to be addressed, if not for your sake then so others don’t have to suffer it.


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