Starting Out Marriage with NFP


#1

Hi Everyone,

My fiance and I are very commited to using NFP only in our marriage right from the beginning. I’ve already been charting for about a year (Creighton model) because I’ve had some health issues (possible PCOS) that I needed to use charting to help my pro-life doctor diagnose some possible issues. Since then we’ve had to change doctors (some differeing opinions) and while I have been getting my cycle relatively regularly, it is still very hard to tell if I’m ovulating (or not) due to constant mucus cycles.

Anyways, I was wondering if those of you who have been in this situation (or will be getting married soon) had any thoughts on how to approach the wedding night and/or honeymoon? Based on my charting, it is much more likely that I will be displaying “fertile” signs during that time…which may even last the whole time. We have serious reasons to postpone pregnancy a year or so (lots of debt due to professional school plus my fiance starting a residency and me working full time to try and set asside some money and start paying of the debt). We aren’t getting married for another 17 months, and we will have been together for almost 4 years at that point. Waiting would not make sense, mainly because residency for him could last 3-6 years more.

How do/did you discern whether or not to go ahead and be intimate or to abstain during that time? And should we decide to abstain, any thoughts on how to make that time special and/or still have the enjoyment of being close emotionally during that time?

And just any thoughts/advice in general would be appreciated :slight_smile:


#2

Ask a NFP-only doc about getting a cryo.

I had one done and the yellow sticker days went away!


#3

Our honeymoon ended up being during an infertile time. In fact, DH wanted a honeymoon baby and it didn’t happen but we definitely tried. :smiley: We later used NFP to conceive.

If it is important to delay children at this time, can you change the wedding date? Or even better, change the honeymoon time? Lots of couples take later honeymoons.

Due to our wedding being around a holiday, we delayed leaving for our honeymoon by I think it was…6 days…maybe 7. That could end up being enough to put you in another phase.

I’m sure this is being Captain Obvious, but who would want to abstain during their honeymoon? :smiley:


#4

Just to make sure the suggestions stay focused, I’d like to repeat what I said in my original post:

We have already been dating over 2 years, and we will be getting married in a little under a year and a half. That will mean we will have been together almost 4 years when we get married…and since my fiance will be starting his residency a few months after we get married, it doesn’t make sense to wait since a residency will last another 3-6 years. I certainly do not want to wait that much longer to get married to the man I love.

Thank you for the thoughts so far…please keep them coming! :slight_smile:


#5

The wedding is 17 months away. It’s not possible to predict whether one will be fertile or not on that day. And, once the date is set they’ll have to go with it, no matter what transpires in the fertile/infertile arena.

Lots of people do.

To the OP: Just pray about it. Don’t stress about it this far away, you don’t know what will happen medically between now and then with your cycles/PCOS. Nor can you really predict what time of month it will be.

When the date gets close, just talk about it together so that you are on the same page expectation-wise. When the time comes, if you feel you need to abstain, then do so.


#6

You have many many months to plan. Perhaps read “Fertility, Cycles and Nutrition” and use nutrition to assist with your charting?


#7

My wedding day was during a fertile time, but a team of horses would not have kept my husband and I apart on our wedding night or during our honeymoon. We just trusted that God would not deliver a baby to us during a time when we couldn’t handle it. And let me add, that my husband immigrated from Canada and was unemployed at the time of our wedding and honeymoon because of it so we did have serious reasons to avoid. We did not get pregnant on our honeymoon, but we did get pregnant the following month (still he was unemployed due to waiting for a work card from immigration) and everything turned out fine. There just has to be a certain trust that God will provide. We weighed the importance of sex as a bonding experience for a newlywed couple as more important than avoiding conception.


#8

This very same discussion has been going on over on my Catholic Bridal Forum: Our Lady’s Brides - you may want to check it out as well for more insight! :smiley:

Congratulations on your up coming marriage!

~Liza


#9

Lol, I guess I missed the 17 month mark. Phew, that’s a long time away! We bought our honeymoon package about 1.5 months before the wedding, although I’ve heard 6 months is a good rule of thumb.


#10

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