Staying Connected with my Wife while I'm Travelling


#1

Hello all,

My work occasionally takes me away from home for a few weeks at a time. Right now I’m traveling in Peru for 3 weeks while my wife is studying at home in Canada. I’ve only been working at this job for about half a year and I’m not too sure what’s the best way to stay connected with my wife while I’m gone. I don’t imagine this job will have me away the majority of the time, but I do expect some travel here and there, maybe 2-3 months a year.

I know that there are others out there who travel for work and I was wondering if you any suggestions about your own experiences. Tips for me and my wife are appreciated.


#2

I’ve never been in your exact situation, but when I’ve been traveling far away from loved ones (or vice versa) I’ve sometimes kept a journal especially for that person to read when the trip is over. I just write about many of the things that I ordinarily would have said aloud. Something like that would be a really nice keepsake for your kids someday, too!


#3

I travel often for work and have found that one of the best ways to keep in touch is a daily call. For us it’s always been in the evenings, before bed. We catch up on the day, and day our goodnights. With the time difference from Canada to Peru, you might need to adjust timing.


#4

My husband calls every day, at least twice, if not more. He isn’t traveling internationally though, which could be more costly. We also email. That frequent contact is really great for me, especially as some days are so stressful w/five kids, homeschooling and no other adult around for the evenings at least. When we traveled to Guatemala for our adoption, we were able to buy a cellphone w/a certain number of minutes for a very low price. I used it to call a lot and it worked out great. Perhaps that is an option when you are out of the country?

Another thing you could do would be to send cards from where you are, or just mail one before you leave. Basically, I think any small effort to show you are thinking of her would be MOST appreciated.

Just the fact that you are asking is a pretty good sign.

Nicole


#5

This is something my dad did once:

Recruited one of my sisters.

Gave her a box of labeled notes and little gifts with distribution dates on them to deliver to my mom.

Called home every night.


#6

You can call home really cheaply from an internet cafe. If you are in a big city (or even a small one) the internet cafe should have an inet phone which may cost about 10 to 30 cents a min (maybe half or 1 Peruvian solé). The quality may not be great but it should be okay. If they dont have an internet phone you could always hope online and connect to a voice conversation via MSN messenger or a similar instant message service. A lot of times they even have cameras on the computer so you can wave to your wife from waaaay down there in Peru. Plus since you’ll be talking in english, chances are many folks wont know what your saying (its more private).


#7

skype.com/


#8

Although in our marriage we’ve never been away from each other, our pre-marriage relationship was a long distance one. We used yahoo’s voice feature (on yahoo messenger) to talk online (we both had wireless headsets that had a base that could be connected to the computer). I’ve never used skype, so I do not know which one has better quality.
I live far away from my mom so I use yahoo web cam so she can see her grandkids as we talk on the phone. Either way, the voice and web functions on yahoo are free and can be used from any place. I used to talk with some friends in New Zealand and Australia on the yahoo thing.


#9

I’ve not had that situation in my marriage, but just after my husband and I started dating we were apart for the summer, and used internet talk functions (the precursors to IM programs) to have some of the best conversations we’ve ever had. Turns out my husband is a total dud on the phone. Everytime we called each other that summer, he’d be so quiet I thought for sure he wasn’t that into me…until the next time we exchanged email or were on an online talk together.

Pray for each other. There’s a lot of temptation when couples are separated, and even if that never becomes a problem, praying for each other will remind you that your investment in each other is not for each other’s bodies (although that’s part of it) or just to share daily life (although that’s part of it) but for the ultimate goal of both being united with God in heaven at teh end of your lives. It’ll help you keep the big picture in yout head.

Or so I suppose. I don’t speak from experience. I should stop posting advice here and go post on the St. Monica thread.


#10

Thanks for all the tips everyone!

Calling my wife every day or every second day has definitely been a great blessing to keep in touch (using Skype). I can’t imagine how things would go in the past! Getting a letter from Peru to Canada would have taken a really really long time! Also, I’ve been finding that sometimes calling gets a little tiring (especially after a long day at work!) so talking on MSN has been really good too and has brought up some good conversations.

Actually, on this note, my wife and I did a long distance relationship while we were dating for 8 months during my first year in university. It was quite a challenge but I think that the previous experience has helped us to figure out how to stay in touch recently. The one thing that I’ve been noticing though, is that whenever I get back, we have a great day or two and then go through what I like to call a “selfish phase”. After being away for three weeks in a hotel and not cleaning up a house or doing many things it’s tough to get back into the household routine and to be charitable at all times!

Well, all in all, from your suggestions, I guess the trick is combination of trying not to travel too much and making a really active effort to keep in touch while I’m gone!


#11

The first thing we do is set up the webcam and MSN (or whatever you use). It’s great to actually see the person even if you can’t hear them. It’s weird, we actually “talked” more online than when my husband was able to call. Our online conversations could last hours when out phone conversations might last 20 or 30 min.


#12

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.