Step-parent problem


#1

I am 16 and live with my biological mother, my step-dad, and step-grandma. I have a strong relation with my biological dad just to know. Anyway neither of them are bad people but there personalities are both toxic against mine.

Today I just received confession and felt as light and released. But now I feel like I just returned to sin because I feel like I disrespect my Elders. The reason is because they both have a way of making every mistake known with added criticism. So now I think I just can’t take criticism and it all my fault. :frowning:

Any ways now I made some snide comment back at my grandma due to the criticism after criticism and am wondering if I shouldn’t take the Eucharist this mass. Making snide comments is about as bad as it gets I don’t flat out yell and neither do they. Also I did go outside and yell to release stress so I don’t know if that would be considered unnecessary anger.


#2

It’s great that you are becoming more and more aware of your sins and the need to change. But, don’t be too hard on yourself.
You shouldn’t take the Eucharist only if you have a mortal sin on your soul, which is deliberately and consciously disobeying God’s rules.
I don’t know the circumstances of this case, but from what you’ve written, I’d say - go and receive the Eucharist. It will strengthen you in your battles.


#3

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sounds like you are doing a great thing in understanding where you need to change, and improve. Keep it up, but don’t beat yourself down each time you fail.

Something to consider. From what you are saying, the worst thing you are doing is speaking back to your Edlers. Work on that, but remember, it sounds like something you are doing in the heat of the moment, so odds are you didn’t take the time to consider whether you knew it was a sin, then chose to do it (requirements for mortal sin). You realize that you are upset, and put yourself in a situation where you will not take your anger out on others. This is great - and a sign of maturity!

I’m hearing that you feel like you are criticized frequently, and over things that you shouldn’t be. When things calm down (not when you are still angry or being criticized), think about how you can talk to your parents about it. They may not realize how they are making you feel, and talking to them about it may help them to “lighten up”. Or, there’s really something else that’s bothering them and they’re snapping at you for the wrong reasons. You seem like a very mature person, so take the opportunity to have a reasonable conversation about how they are making you feel, and find out what you can do to help them not be so upset with you.

God bless!


#4

Have you talked to your step-dad and grandma, or to your mother, and told them how much their criticism and their sarcastic comments hurt you?

Talk to your mom and tell her what you are feeling.


#5

All great advice. I would add that you consider that in that brief moment between stimulus and response you have a choice to make. Don’t allow the heat of the moment to cause you to react instead of act. Allow yourself, practice before your response and let God work with you on this cross you bear to make you better and perhaps allow Him to work through you to make them better as well. You are doing fine, God bless!


#6

I would like to thank everyone for the comments left; all of it is amazing advice that I will take to heart. All the anger did occur in the heat of the moment so I feel better about taking the Eucharist; though I know I need to confess this venial sin as soon as possible.

I would also have to say that I’m only criticised when I make a mistake; but the thing is that this goes for both me and my ten year old brother who gets things wrong more often than me. So as my brother is being micromanaged about how to do something right I can feel the stress of being told how to do something down to the smallest detail.


#7

I am a mother who has a tendency to criticize and micromanage her children.

I know it is not helpful and often counter-productive and I struggle with this on a daily basis.

Parents have the responsibility to teach and correct their children. We don’t always succeed in doing it in the best way!

I hope this helps you see the other side of the problem.

Please continue to pray for your parents, especially before approaching them about this.

God bless!


#8

I will pray for you too, I think you were given great advice already.
Pray for them too, yourself. Sometimes I think adults don’t realize the impact they are making. Perhaps they are just critical people who don’t know how to properly word things, maybe that is the way they were raised and thats all they know. I think you sound very mature for your age and that you may surpass them all and have the ability to just pray for them and continue to learn from your mistakes and realize that they just need to learn from how they are handling things, (and you can’t really tell them that.) They will have to experience that for themselves, and I am sure they are, it may just take them longer than it does you. Remember, patience is a virtue, and it looks like you are acquiring that!!:thumbsup:


#9

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