I have a stepmother of 17 years and my Dad is divorcing her. She has been battling bi-polar disorder and can be very abusive at times. I also think that she is a good person, just somewhat difficult to communicate with. She also tries to vent about how "awful" of a guy my Dad is, and the last phone conversation I had with her she was screaming obscenities about my Dad and told her I will not lend an ear to her about that and that's what her brothers/sisters/psychiatrist is for.
Her and my Dad have a house here and another house out of state (where she is from and where her family is). She has been fighting to stay here and we think she was going to try to make Dad move out of the house so she could stay in it and live near me and my family and give him the boot so to speak.
I told her that we would rather have our Dad live in that house, and otherwise would be at the expense of any further relationship with my family. She didn't take that very well.
My intentions were not to harm her, but to protect my family. My wife is very uncomfortable around her and she makes us all feel very uncomfortable with her ranting and emotional outbursts. We still do love her and do wish she could reconcile with us so she can continue to have a relationship with me my wife and her grandsons. Just a different relationship. She has decided to throw it all away. It seems to be all or nothing with her. She's making us choose between her and my Dad, which I don't think is right.
Was I uncharitable in giving her that ultimatum? My old Pastor who just left was helping me with this and now I have a new one that I just met and went to confession for the 1st time with him today about this. I don't think I was really able to convey to him very well the entire situation and it was a bit awkward.