I went through RCIA a few years ago, and was confirmed into the church on March 26, 2005. Before I joined the church, I sterilized myself through vasectomy. I brought all this up in my first confession. It is a terrible grave sin. Here are my questions / comments:
Not only have I brought this up once in confession, but TWICE! Now, I’m starting to think that its an even greater sin to confess twice, than the actual sin itself, as if I am not trusting in God’s mercy.
Is it a sin every time my wife and I have sex?
I am not sure on church teaching about the necessity to reverse the vasectomy. Is this a requirement, or a voluntary act? Certainly, I would like to do this, but I called a doctor that was referred by my GP, and the cost was around $9,000. I don’t have that kind of cash lying around. If I did, would it be selfish of me to spend it on this, or give it instead to the poor, sick, or other Catholic Charity? I’ve started a little “vasectomy reversal fund”, and put everything I can into it.
Like I said in the beginning, I knew it was wrong at the time. Yet, as my faith gets stronger, and my friendship with the Lord grows, I realize just how (can’t even think of the right adjective) wrong it was for me to do this. The Lord has blessed me in so many ways; wonderful wife, 4 kids, great job, roof over our heads, fantastic Catholic parish 5 minutes away, food in our stomachs, and I sterilize myself! I know all my sins pierce the Lord, but I feel this one especially did.
I guess I’m not letting myself be forgiven…
What is your opinion / suggestion?
Peace be with you…