I’m in a very awkward situation. Some time ago I began exploring the Catholic faith and last year entered RCIA. I’ve studied hard, read everything I can find, and now I have an intense love for the Church. Last weekend everyone in my RCIA group was received into the church - except me. Why? Because my wife, who is not Catholic and does not want to be, had a previous marriage and she refuses to apply for an annulment.
Obviously this is very delicate and the priest advised me not to create conflict by pushing her about it. I’ve tried for months to gently persuade her to do the paperwork. She won’t budge. There is little doubt her prior marriage would be found null, but she sees no reason why *she *should jump through the church’s hoops when I’m the one who wants to be Catholic.
For my part, I understand the church teaching on marriage and I don’t expect any special favors. My problem is how to accept my current status, ie I can go to mass but not receive communion. I find myself resenting the other people when they go forward. I get angry at my wife for putting me in this position. When the priest elevates the host, I look down because I can’t stand to see what I am forbidden to touch.
As gently as everyone tries to put it, the fact is that the church presumes that I am an adulterer, and there is nothing I can do to prove otherwise. When I walk in the church I feel like I’m wearing a scarlet letter A on my chest and I worry what people must think about me.
Any advice or prayers are greatly appreciated. Thank you.