Still confused about life


hi guys,

i still am very confused abot my life. so far, i don’t feel called to marriage or religious life, which is fine

but if that ever changes, i don’t really know what to do, well, religious life isn’t so hard to figure out

but marriage is

as a mother, do i have to be a stay-at-home mom? what if i still want a career or feel like i can give more besides just raising kids? of course, i don’t believe in just ditching the kids in daycare and going to work. but what if i worked parttime while the father was at home? or went back to work when the kids were older and in school? what is the cahotlic position on this? like i said, i doubt i will get married but i just want some advanced preparation if it does happen for some reason


The Church does not have a definitive position on the specific questions you asked about married life. We are all called to do the best we can, in whatever vocation we undertake, to follow the Commandments (Love God above all things, and love neighbor as we love ourselves.) Every person’s situation is different, but in my own marriage of nearly 34 years, I’ve only been Catholic for about the last nine of them, and my spiritual advisors have always made it clear that my first job is to do everything I can to help my wife get to Heaven, and then as many other people as I can help along the way. We were never blessed with children and for reasons I won’t go into here, we could not adopt, either, so I can’t offer any advice from my own experience about how to balance being a parent with any other things you’d like to do. Obviously, if you do become a mother, you and your husband will be responsible for them as you are for each other, but there can be different ways to do that, depending on your circumstances at the time.

I can, however, suggest that you spend as much time as possible in prayer and reading Sacred Scripture, and ask the Lord and Our Lady for guidance and assistance. If you do, it will bring unmeasurable rewards, and you will know in your heart when you are doing the right thing.

God bless you abundantly!


Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance & direction.


In reality there is little you can do to prepare for the future other than live an honest and holy way of life. IF you meet someone you want to marry you will know, and then I am sure that things will fall into place at the time. Even the twist and turns about being a stay at home mom or a working mom. A lot of times that is simply decided by how much income you and your spouse need.

As far as religious life, well you could spend some time now looking into some different communities. You could even visit a few and believe it or not, if this is God’s will you will know in a short while really. Understanding a communities spirit and mission may provide you some insight into your own interests, and boom you will have your answer. You could also look into general missionary work with the Church.

By keeping active in various ministries and looking into the possibilities more actively you may find yourself less confused and simply more invested in a new idea or way of life. So, don’t sit and ponder too much. Go and check some things out and see if something catches your attention more than all other options. Go for it.


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