So I am still struggling with SSA. I kno I can’t masturbate, but I can’t even walk past like a men’s underwear advertisement without being turned on. Maybe it’s my teen hormones but it sucks. I’m trying to be a good Catholic but I don’t how to do it. Did God make me gay??? It’s a horriable cross to bear. Are there any prayers I can say? Are their any one here with SSA than can control there feelings?? I dunno sometimes I just want to put my picture on grinder of something and get it done with.
What is SSA?
Same Sex Attraction
Hang in there. I’ll pray for you…We are all trying to be good Catholics (hopefully), because what we all are is sinners! Temptation and attraction are not sins; acting on them are.
Hang on, brother. I don’t struggle with SSA, but I do struggle with plenty of sexual temptation on my own. Pray the rosary, read the saints, think often of our Lord and His mother. What I’ve also found helpful is an Orthodox prayer rope. As popular as the Rosary in Catholic circles, the prayer rope is good for inspiring “pray[er] without ceasing.”
EDIT: If possible, read St. Augustine’s Confessions, as well. He struggled with sexual sin plenty in his life before committing fully to the Church and becoming one of her bishops.
Another phrase for gay.
I was once told to pray the Rosary, pray for assistance and keep busy. Some people have a cold shower or even sleep on the floor as a penance. Lots of good advice and yet.
There are two things which help me, one is thinking about having to confess to my priest and secondly and more importantly is the thought that God sees me. He knows. No secrets possible. Now if you believe in God that’s a big deterrent.
This SSA has been talked about a lot on the forum and it might be useful if you check through old posts because I’m sure you will find something in there of help.
God bless and never give up, it’s a cross to bear no doubt about it.
Can I ask how old you are? Do you have someone to talk to?
I will offer prayers for you that God will lead you where he wants you and peace will be yours.
Growing up is not easy even in the best of circumstances. The only way I have ever been able to deal with any sin is by getting closer to Jesus; prayer, music, scripture, good books or preaching, meditation, what ever works for you. But now that I am Catholic, I also have the Sacraments to add to that list. For what it’s worth, except for the future prospect of marriage, you are no different in this that those whose heterosexual impulses are a constant temptation.
I experience SSA as well though I would say my urges aren’t that strong. Well I guess I can see a guy and get infatuated over him but that’ll wear off. Prayer is important but when it comes to something physical like this you may want to try to do certain activities. I started going to the gym for example. Maybe take up a sport or do something else that’ll put that sexual energy to good use. I would suggest finding a therapist or something, sounds like there may be things to work on. It’s been so helpful for me.
You have to ask yourself “What are you looking for?”, what is it that you want? What are you trying to obtain by seeking these acts? I’ve done some stupid stuff, I realized I just wanted to belong, be loved. Was trying to get that though in such a wrong way, have a lot more friends now, some who I’ve opened up to about my struggles. Has made a world of difference. Real intimacy satisfies, instant gratification doesn’t. Good relationships take time, you can’t shortcut the process. Yes, there can be pain, but it’s necessary for healing.
I wish I had the right words to offer you advice. All I can say is make sure that you are praying enough daily. I struggle to pray, but have found that the repetitive (not boring) prayers of the Rosary help me to instantly calm down and meditate on what I need to change/think about. (E.g. the moral courage of Christ in the Sorrowful mysteries).
Sometimes three Hail Mary’s properly said can be enough if you are in a hurry. Or just talk to God out loud while washing your face.
Sometimes I get aot of disorganised thoughts in prayer, but it should not be that way–why would one overcrowd God with a long laundry list of prayers.
Prayer should first be Adoration of God, then Contrition for ones’s faults, then Thanksgiving for ones’s blessings and lastly Supplication (one’s humble requests before God, which he may refuse).
Remember that if you do fail, do not be despondent, because if you are truly sorry you can come back to God in confession and receive Him in the Holy Eucharist.
You say that you are “easily” tempted. Just remember that sometimes it is not your fault and move on. If you feel that you have sinned purposely then go to confession. At least once a month you should examine your conscience. You are not required to confess venials, but it may help you if you do and this is encouraged by the church.
Live with JOY, be HAPPY, put God and others before yourself and PRAY!
“Do not fear, for I will rescue you says the LORD.”
Catholics can correct me if it’s wrong advice or not: but when you see such advertisements try not to look at them.
Try to look at something else such as the floor or sky and keep watch of your thoughts during those times if you encounter them ever.
Instead of thinking about the guy in the underwear try thinking about something else maybe kittens or puppies. The weather. A movie. Favorite TV show or scripture verse. Hopefully this helps.
Do you know , @DominusEmpyreus , that you are in just the right place ?
You need a teacher .
You already have a powerful teacher .
Jesus said ; " The Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things."
Through your Baptism the Holy Spirit dwells in you , and this prompted St Paul to ask : " Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?"
Be aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit within you , and learn to rely totally on Him for what you need .
Speak to Him in simple ways - - - – - " Come Creator Spirit " - - - - - - -" Come Holy Spirit "
I don’t know whether you are interested in Taize chants , but listening to these may help .
May our friend the Holy Spirit guide you on your way , which is going to be tough at times .
Then there is the Pentecost prayer - - - - - - - -
Come, Holy Spirit, send down those beams
Which sweetly flow in silent streams
From your bright throne above .
O come, the Father of the poor,
O come, the source of all our store,
Come fill our hearts with love.
You are of comforters the best ,
The soul’s most welcome guest ,
The pilgrims sweet relief.
In all our toil, rest most sweet,
Refreshment in the noonday heat,
And solace in all our grief.
O blessed Light of Life, divine,
Deep in our hearts let your light shine,
Because we hope in you.
Without your Godhead nothing can
have any price or worth in man,
nor be harmless in what we do.
Lord, wash our sinful stains away,
water from heaven our barren clay,
our wounds and bruises heal.
To your sweet yoke our stiff necks bow,
warm with your love our hearts of snow,
our wandering feet recall.
Grant to your faithful dearest Lord
whose only hope is in your word,
your sevenfold gift of grace.
Grant us in life your grace that we
in peace may die and ever be
in joy before your face . Amen . Alleluia !
Are you saying he chose to be gay?
Also as a teen (and again Catholics can correct me if it’s wrong advice or not)
Are you watching music videos with people dancing and dressing sexually? Sexual lyrics that can lead you to thinking sexual thoughts?
Do you watch movies or TV shows with graphic sexual scenes/nudity?
Maybe ask yourself these things.
It might be easier for you not to masturbate with these things out of your life if they’re in it.
Yes kind of like me looking at a woman sexually or not looking at one sexually.
Are you speaking with your local Courage group?
That’s good advice, why did you delete it?
God doesn’t give us weaknesses.