Strange Experiences?


So I’m in the process of separating myself from my occult past. I’ve completely rejected anything and everything having to do with it obviously, and now my wife and I are fully united back into the Church, thanks be to God.

I spent years of my life in the occult. As such, many of my thought processes, I feel, are tainted by this paradigm, so to speak. What is more, I have certain things that I do not know what to do with.

For a long time, as long as I can remember really, since I was a child, I could always “sense” (not sure of a better word), what seem to be spirits. I do not necessarily seek it; it has always just happened to me. At any given time, if I pay attention to my surroundings, I can always feel something.

As an example, once in Church, when the priest was blessing the RCIA candidates during one of the rites, I suddenly saw a magnificent angel present, whose presence I could feel for probably five or ten minutes thereafter. It put me into such a rapture that I couldn’t focus on anything else for that duration. It scared me, because it was the first significant time this has happened to me after entering back into the Church a few months ago. It is not part of the occult time of my life, because it predates it; it is something that has always been with me.

I’ve seen demons as well, which has been quite frightening. So I’ve been able to discern the nature of such a spirit.

What do I do with this? Do I ignore it? Do I pray for it to be removed? Do I allow it to be what it is? Is it wrong? Where does it come from?

The second phenomenon is quite different. I often pray for healing, especially for my wife. Sometimes — not always — I feel what I can only guess to be the Holy Spirit, come over me, and then I know that true healing is happening. It is almost palpable. The person for whom I’m praying can also generally feel it. It is a power, a force that simply flows through, and usually the feeling is with me for a time afterwards as well. I believe this to be the Holy Spirit, but it is unlike anything I have ever experienced. My wife compares it to how she felt when she went to a healing priest, Fr. DiOrio, several years ago.

Often, too, after receiving the Holy Eucharist, I go into deep prayer and often feel the closest to Jesus, and can sometimes hear His voice during these times. These experiences are very comforting to me, and I always love to receive.

I also don’t know what to do with these. These experiences are quite different, and since I used to be in the occult, I fear that they are remnants of that, though I’m not trying to do anything. My wife encourages me in them, as she says they are good. I’m quite drawn to the mystical saints, such as St. Teresa of Ávila, and I know such saints have had experiences that might be seen as unusual, so it’s surely not impossible. But then I often wonder why I experience these things, so it really worries me.

But I just want the input of others. Your opinion would be appreciated.

I’m not very informed about the occult, but if you’ve broken away from it, I congratulate you :slight_smile:

As to having feelings of the Holy Spirit…if they aren’t harming you in any way or encouraging you to do things counter to what the Church teaches, then I wouldn’t worry about them. If these feelings seem to bring you closer to Jesus, I’d interpret that to be a good thing!

You might consider yourself lucky to have such intense feelings…sadly I fear there are many Catholics in the world that wouldn’t even be considered luke-warm in their faith.

Have a Blessed Easter!

Thanks, I appreciate this response. It’s tough figuring out what’s what after spending so many years in the occult.

Where people have not chosen to dabble in the occult, or have not had their minds affected by other negative experiences eg. child abuse, drug taking, bullying, street life etc., there seems to be a protective barrier against direct spiritual manipulation. However people that have been affected by one or more of the above sometimes seem to lose that protection.

In your case, the barrier seems to have already been broken by your participation in the occult. So perhaps both sides now appear more readily.

My main concern is that the devil can appear as an angel of light, and he would know full well you’ve chosen to follow Christ, which wouldn’t please him.

So the angelic vision could be one of two things -

  1. Simply what it seems to be, and you were being given a glimpse of the spiritual reality of these people entering the Catholic Church, and God’s interest in their progress.

or 2. The devil or a demon in disguise. This might sound strange, but he could be trying to reawaken your interest in the occult by appealing to your former interest, and perhaps invoke in you spiritual pride that you get these visions, and others don’t.

In the meantime, I’d just keep going through the motions, and stick close to the church, and not get too hung up on the visions. That’s how I see it.

I think you are just more sensitive than most people. If you had these experiences as a child before you were involved in occult things, then it seems it is part of your natural sensitivity. I would not call these experiences bad. There have been a few times in my life where I could sense things without having any prior knowledge of them. A few examples: I was at a party in a room full of people, most of whom I didn’t know. A man walked into the room whom I had never seen before and no one had said anything about. I instantly had an impression that he was a lawyer. This was before I was even introduced to him or heard him speak. Later, I found out that he was. Another time I walked into my workplace, which was a small, family owned newspaper business. The minute I walked in I felt like there had been some sort of serious argument or something similar that had happened to create a bad atmosphere. I could somehow just sense it. No one was in the main room when I entered. A few minutes later when the owner entered the room I found out that he had been arguing with one of the reporters and fired him. Another example: just as I was waking up but not quite awake I had the distinct impression that my sister was going to get a divorce. I lived in another state from her and did not really have much information on her day to day life. I thought she was living this perfect life like the Waltons with her husband, children and house they helped build out in the country. So, it was a surprise to find out a few months later that they were splitting up. I didn’t even know they were having problems.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that these things happen. I didn’t look for them - they just happened. Probably the same is true for you.

Thanks Bob. I see what you are saying, but as the previous poster said, the sensitivity began since I was a young child. So I’m not really sure.

What you say about the barrier is interesting, and it could be; I’m not sure. I don’t think i have any spiritual pride or anything like that. I feel unworthy to have anything like this happen to me.

Thanks. Yes, I’ve had these kinds of things. Especially with arguing. I can usually tell when people are about to argue, and I can tell someone’s mood really easily even if they are hiding it.

The barrier that Bob talks about I name it Life Beyond the Veil. Sadly for some of us, that veil of innocence is no longer protecting us. We see all.

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