Stressing out regarding vocation! Help Please!

Ok so I am 16 and here is my problem so a while ago two old ladies at church said something to me along the lines of I would make a good priest, and a trainee priest said that for some reason I just seem really Holy he said there is something about me, that just seems Holy.
Heres the deal though is I want and have wanted for a very long time to have a family and to be a father and a husband and so I thought that because I was drawn so strongly to wanting to be a father and a husband that my vocation was that of marriage and family life, and that’s what God had planned for me, and was just thinking I was over thinking the comments made about priesthood, and was just thinking they was compliments about my character.
So I was praying to God asking him for forgiveness in case I have offended him by not wanting to be a priest, and asked him to help me achieve the vocation of marriage and family life as that was what I think is my vocation and what I am supposed to do.
But today in Mass my priest said a reading in which he talked about afterwards is that, we must let God do everything for us and not want to change our own destiny, otherwise we will not fit through a narrow door, and I’m guessing that narrow door is heaven.
See and now I am stressing out, because of the compliments, things on TV and as I am stressing out about it, I am thinking about it more and so now I am stressing out because of the whole “We shouldn’t want to change our own destiny”, and that’s the thing I still want to get married and have children and raise them correctly but now because of the things people have said to me I am stressing out that the lord wants me to be a priest just because of a few compliments that people have said, and that saddens me deeply as I very much still want to be a father and a husband and I do not want to become a priest.

Basically what I am asking you is, please do you think I am other thinking this too much and just because some people may have said that I’m holy or I would make a good priest it doesn’t mean I have to become a priest, and that’s the thing as well I want to be a Dad and a Husband and raise my children in the faith and in correct morals, and not be a priest for one I don’t think that if I was to be a priest, I wouldn’t be able to serve it whole heartily as it is not what I want to do.
Also I might add that I only even thought and starting stressing out when those old ladies gave me that compliment and the thought never really even popped in to my head prior to the compliment.

So yes please if you could just tell me if I am over thinking this, I must add also that I do feel that I suffer with anxiety and so I do have a tendency to stress out a lot about things and over think things, like health problems and such so is it a possibility it is what I am doing here.

And before any of you say it my normal priest is not going to be taking mass until 2 weeks time so that is why I have not talked to him, but please could you help me.
And also I hate to ask this but could you please pray for me to help ease my stress and anxieties on this matter.

May the lord watch over, guide and protect all of you.


You are overthinking.

Please get counsel from your pastor at your first opportunity.

Well thank you for the answer, here’s the thing though I was doing alright and not stressing out about many things but this thing just caught me, I think perhaps my results coming out stressed me a bit but I got those the other day and when I saw them that eased to stress a bit.

Try watching fishers of men and remember to pray your rosary everyday a full rosary (20 decade) would be better. I will offer my mass tonite for you. God bless you in your vocation and all you do - Michael.

All men need to honestly ask the question of God, “Do you want me to be a Priest, or brother?” “Do you want me to marry, or remain single?” Lord open my eyes to see your will for my life, give me the grace to respond to your calling with a happy heart. Bless me on the journey. Prepare the way for me, and those I will encounter. Amen

Sometimes I think God wants to know, and for us to find out…are we willing to make extreme sacrifices…if he calls us to? Are we “sold out” for Jesus? Is He #1?

Don’t panic! Discerning your life calling can take a decade. Trust God, and let this decision unfold over several years. Some men go to seminary & over a few years discern they are called to be a brother, or priest. Others realize they are called to singlehood or married life. I think the most important thing is that you love God, and follow His will as best as you know it. Grow in your love & knowledge of God each year. That makes God smile. If God does call you to the Priesthood, you will gradually fall in love with that life. You will long for it. It will fill you with joy!

My Mother taught us to pray for our future spouse. Perhaps God has put in your heart a love for marriage, so pray for your future spouse. Where ever she is on this planet, ask God to protect & bless her. Ask God to teach her & gift her with the best qualities she will need to become the best spouse for you! I prayed for my husband for ten years, and he is wonderful! :slight_smile: We have been married 28 years, but I have prayed for him for 38. :slight_smile:

Don’t get all stressed out. Think of your future as gifts you unwrap. Slowly peeling away the paper to see the surprise inside. God knows how to give good & wonderful gifts. Your life is a wonderful journey. Appreciate the daily adventures of your life. there is no need to rush to the end of the story.

May God bless you richly :slight_smile:

Set aside the anxiety and simply and calmly conversi ad dominum - “turn towards the Lord”…

The fact that someone said you would be a good Priest does not “a Priestly vocation make”. Often people see a prayerful Christian young man and think that such could be the case. They may even have some little unconscious clericalism where they assume that if one is seeking to follow Christ faithfully as a young man that such means they are called to be a Priest or Religious.

God calls to various vocations in life including marriage.

But let us all follow him as his disciples whatever vocation we have.

(feel free to pm me if you wish – I too had others saying or asking such …)

Just think what is God calling me to do and what is his will. Since both vocations are really good, think about which one would mostly feel like you and what you want to do for God. Would you feel more called to have a wonderful family and a lovely wife? Are you up to the joys and difficulties of married life? Will you be a good husband and father? Would this vocation bring out who you really are? if so pray to God that this vocation will become true.
However since people mentioned priesthood to you it is best to keep an open mind of whether God is calling you to serve the faithful and defend his Church and to provide the Sacraments. Yet it appears that being a priest would not bring out the real you that god wants you to be . I must ask how much do you know about priesthood? You might want to learn a little more about it, remember nobody is pushing to become what you do not want to be, that is between you and God. Remember those who enter seminary aren’t there to become priests that isn’t the goal, the goal is to be what God wants us to be and the ones who do become priests are the ones that feel that this is what God wants them to be and are quite happy and joyous about it (not saying all of them, but that’s the idea).

Maybe you want to have a career in something else, have a wonderful family, and live your life for the Lord. Perhaps you can get more involved in your parish unless you already are (if not ever think about being a lector, altar server, Eucharistic minister, even a Knight of Columbus). If you feel that you might want to serve the Lord in some form of clerical way being a permanent deacon might be an option.

I will pray that you will find what God wants you to be and whatever it will be you will feel fulfilled and with joy.:slight_smile:

Forget it. Just tell them you want to get married and that should stop them. But you are right about " being holy. " Well, none of us really are, hey. But we should be and you are doing the right thing. We need saintly husbands and wives as much as we need saintly priests. If God wants you do something else than what you have thought, he will let you know.

Only one thing. Marriage isn’t a bed of roses. Neither is the priesthood. Nothing is.


With being baptized into Christ – we are holy – we are saints. We are then to become more and more so- more and more conformed to Christ. Our personal vocation is yes part of that – but being holy is for all in the various vocations.

" At the beginning of Christianity, the members of the Church were also called “saints”. In his First Letter to the Corinthians, St Paul addresses “those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (I Cor 1: 2). Indeed, Christians are already saints because Baptism unites them to Jesus and to his Paschal Mystery, but at the same time they must become so by conforming themselves every more closely to him. Sometimes, people think that holiness is a privileged condition reserved for the few elect. Actually, becoming holy is every Christian’s task, indeed, we could say, every person’s! The Apostle writes that God has always blessed us and has chosen us in Christ “that we should be holy and blameless before him… in love” (Eph 1: 3-5). All human beings are therefore called to holiness, which ultimately consists in living as children of God, in that “likeness” with him in accordance with which they were created. All human beings are children of God and all must become what they are by means of the demanding process of freedom. God invites everyone to belong to his holy people. The “Way” is Christ, the Son, the Holy One of God: “no one comes to the Father but by me [Jesus]” (cf. Jn 14: 6)."

~ Pope Benedict XVI

You have time to discern your particular vocation or to see what you believe to be that vocation to come into reality (your only 16) --in any case now and when that vocation comes into reality – live what you are – a Christian …a saint …a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Well to answer your question, I feel like for one I would more enjoy living the life of marriage and family and I would try my hardest to be a good husband and I will try my hardest to be a good Dad, and with that in mind I feel that I could fulfill that vocation with all my heart and I have been praying to the Lord to help me full fill that vocation despite the many years that I would have to wait for it too finally happen.
But the bit you said about becoming what God wants for us to be be this is where I stress out because even after the comments above regarding the ladies comment and even myself thinking that it was perhaps nothing more than a compliment but, I think I am over thinking it by thinking it is in some way a sign despite it probably just being something trivial.
But like I said is I do still very much want to be a father and a husband, I want to try and raise them and serve my duty to them to the best of my ability and also give my parents grandchildren who would care and aid me in raising them, a privilege I never really had except my only grand parent (May he rest in peace).
Like I said above as well though is until the lady said something to me I never really thought of even considering becoming a priest.
Here’s my problem though as well with the last comment is I’m not sure what job I want to do so in a way it’s hard too kind of judge but like I said I just really would like to be a Dad and a Husband to the best of my ability.

I know Marriage isn’t a bed of roses especially with people getting divorced a lot now as well and such but, I am willing to step up to the task and uphold the marriage vowels and do the best job I could.

Thank You for that post also kind of made me think as I kind of had the frame of mind that St’ were only really strong religious people who did great things for God and for people on a grand scale, like you was saying is that’s what makes me think though is although I am only 16 I have wanted to be a father for a very long amount of time and I feel I would fulfill the vocation of marriage and family with a whole heart and try too do it to the best of my own ability.
But like I said though as well I am willing to wait for marriage and the time of family and I still think that marriage and family is my vocation, and I do also hope that it is my vocation and I am going to continue to pray to God to aid me in full filling this vocation to the best of my ability.

Yes, you are massively overthinking this - just try and relax! In fairness, I know from experience that it is kind of freaky when people tell you randomly that they think you would make a good priest (a woman did that to me at mass once…) but often these people see thins in us which we ourselves are unable to see - sometimes the most obvious things are the easiest to miss. Remember, you’re only 16 and so still have many years ahead of you to discern where God might be calling you to take your life. What I would also say though is that discerning a vocation often involves a struggle to first understand, and second accept your call. God isn’t going to be angry with you or punish you for making the “wrong” choice - He wants only what’s best for you. Becoming a priest doesn’t mean that you have no desire to be a father - most (if not all) of the priests I know would make excellent fathers but this is something which they have set aside in order to follow Jesus.

Padre Pio used to say “pray and don’t worry.” Like others have said, you have time to discern. It sounds like you really are wanting to do what God wills. The hardest thing about that can be trusting and waiting for His time.

Hi! What your going through is very normal.I’m seventeen years old and in all honesty I also began thinking about vocation seriously at is true that sometimes Our Lord tells us things through people but in the end vocation is something that I think Our Lord can only tell you.its the very purpose of your being:). Ask Him what it is that will make him happy and if it makes him happy it will by extension make you happy because its what your made for.God has given you the very things needed for you to do what your meant to. I’ve also always thought that I was meant for marraige then last year I started to feel restless and I realised that my heart was meant for something bigger, Our Lord wanted my heart for himself and by extension everyone.Anyway please don’t make a decision based on what others think the answer to your question of vocation is with the man in the tarbanacle ;).also who said that married people can’t be Holy? you forget that even THE GREATEST saint was a married woman the Mother of God spouse of Joseph.take heart

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