My parents separated about 7 years ago, I was 13. Since then my relationship with my father has been very rocky and at the moment we no longer speak. My father has always been a difficult person - his own father was very absent and my grandmother is not the most nurturing/maternal type - and he’s very needy and can never take responsibility for things, he always blames them on other people.
The last time I saw him was five years ago. When we used to speak he would ask why we never came to see him and make me feel guilty for not visiting. But we can’t afford it (he lives in Brazil and it would cost almost $4000/£2300) and he has never made the effort to come visit us either. I just constantly felt like I was being blamed for things that, at 15/16, were out of my hands. He also tended to blame things on my mother and make her look like the bad guy when she’s done nothing wrong and has raised me and my sister since without any support from him, financial or otherwise. The last time I remember speaking to him on the phone I ended up crying so hard I had to pass the phone to my mother because I couldn’t speak. The last straw for me came when he revealed that he and his new girlfriend had a five-month old son and he’d just never bothered to tell me.
Recently he send me a message asking for my cell phone number. I gave it to him reluctantly but it made me realise how angry I still am. I still haven’t heard from him and I don’t even know if I want to. Part of me (on the advice of a friend) wants to give him a chance but on the other hand I’m so fed up of giving him chances and just being hurt by it. I’m also worried that if I do refuse to talk to him, I would be sinning under the commandment “honour your father”. I just don’t know what would be the best way to go, the most appropriately Christian thing to do.