Struggles with purity and chastity

Hi, recently I have started dating a wonderful Catholic man. We have been dating a few months and I believe there is a good chance of marriage one day. We agreed not to have live together before marriage to avoid the temptation of premarital sex. We believe in doing things the old fashioned way. However I have always struggled with chastity and purity. It’s been really hard for me because of all the hormones still flying around. Does anyone have any advice on this?


Hi there, as someone who’s struggled with this too I’d say the best cure is prevention, because once you cross the line it’s hard to stop. This means you have to set definite boundaries that you both agree on, i.e keep both feet on the floor at all times, door open, don’t hang out in the house alone, etc. and enforce them. And praying the rosary, especially with the intention of discernment of the relationship, is great for chastity- I read once that it helped Padre Pio as he struggled with chastity.

The Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addiction Recovery can help you. It was the very first organization on the Internet to help people with sexual sin (not just addiction). The group is anonymous and on a secure server. There are no membership dues or fees; it is free of charge.

The 20 Steps to a Pure Heart and Mind is available without joining the group. It has helped over 100,000 people worldwide.

I agree with the advice that has been given; once lines have been crossed it is hard to go back.
If only more people chose this path. It’s nice that you are on the same page. That helps!
I will pray for you both!:slight_smile:

Just want to say well done!

It’s an admirable step to both decide to do this and you can do it. I’ll pray for you too.

I think pray to Mary, she’s the expert at chastity and never turns anyone away. Perhaps put a few images around to remind you especially when you spend time together alone. Why not try wearing a Miraculous medal? to remind you she is with you and help you to ask for God’s grace not to sin.

Pray the rosary together, keep yourselves busy, don’t spend time alone in the house. Go on dates together, enjoy life.

I’ve found over the years that the best way to keep oneself from impurity (besides prayer of course) is to have a full agenda. It’s true what they say, the devil makes work for idle hands.

In a relationship, prevention is better than cure. But if you do fall, you just have to pick yourself back up and go on.

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