Struggling marriage

I have been married for 13 years with 4 beautiful children. Like all married couples we have had our ups and downs but we now seem to be at a breaking point. We get along great just talking about things and are able to discuss things such as the kids, finances future plans etc just fine. He has lost his faith completely. However, he lies to me about his personal life and gets very angry when I invade his “privacy.” He has completely shut me off sexually with the explanation that he just doesn’t ‘feel’ like it. Whenever I bring up the subject he gets angry and can’t believe that once again our whole marriage has just come down to sex, which is so untrue. He carries on personal and private emotional relationships with other women he tells me are his ‘friends’ and that is just who he is a social guy and he could stop talking to them, but I am trying to change who he is. I want more than anything to be a good wife, but I feel like I am emotionally stranded. I don’t want to take the children away from their father and am trying to be very humble and show him unconditional love… but it is so difficult. He sees a counselor privately, but will not go to joint counseling. Any suggestions?

If your husband is having emotional ‘‘affairs’’ with other women, it could be why your relationship has taken this turn. I don’t know enough about your situation to suggest anything beyond counseling…and to talk to your priest. I will keep you in my prayers, I’m sorry you’re struggling right now, in your marriage. :frowning:

Is he impotent? Or does he suffer from ED?

Perhaps he doesn’t want to tell you, and claims that you are too interested in sex to cover up his own problems.

There are physical reasons behind much ED and impotency. Poor circulation, lack of testosterone (my husband had a small pituitary tumor that cut his testosterone production down to “girl” levels), etc. These can be fixed.

I was only married for nine months when my marriage fell apart and I pray for your marriage. I hope that things get back on track. Could it be work stress or other stress at home? Could it be that wonderful midlife crisis (my wife won’t find me attractive anymore). Or do you think he is having an affair? While priests are great sometimes a good deacon can also bring some real life marriage experience into things too. I pray no one need go through the Hell on earth that I am suffering right now especially with children. I hope it works out for you.

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