As posted numerous times, I am having a real struggle these past 2 years in finding permanent employment.
I have decided to seek God’s will first and it is NOT easy. I currently have a 3 month contract and my manager is RIDICULOUSLY overworked and her stress is coming out all over the place. It is not easy to work with her. However, I have decided to do my best to be charitable, humble and co-operative. When she snaps at me, I do my best not to snap back, if she is busy, I try not to disturb her and when she is getting on my nerves, I do my best to smile instead of darting my eyes. I have decided to ask God to guide my actions at work and she me the next step and to accept it. I don’t know if the next step is the contract being extended, another job or not working again, but I pray for God to show me and guide me.
The above is not an easy task however, I believe through faithful prayer, I have come to a point where I can finally do it. Well my resentment is, after over coming my interior struggles, people are giving me exterior struggles that are undoing all the hard work I have done.
Let me explain. I am fed up with so many people the first thing they say when they see me is ‘How is the job hunt/job going?’ It just rubs salt on my wounds. I have used the approach to either say ‘good’ quickly making it obvious the topic is to be changed or to just come out and say ‘I don’t talk about it’. Yes, there are a lot of eyebrows raised, however, some people are actually getting the hint and the boundary is finally being respected.
Well, there is this one lady I actually like and has been very nice to me over the years. She however is about 15 years older than me and comes across as wanting to help me like a mom helps her child. I have told her point blank, I did NOT want to talk about my job anymore with her. She just keeps it up saying ‘perhaps a career change is in order you can make good money doing ABC.’ I use the broken record approach and keep saying ‘I don’t want to talk about it’. The truth is, all of her suggestions are just not jobs I could NOT do and I do NOT want to get into the debate as to why I can not do the jobs she suggests. I don’t think she even knows I have a 3 month contract.
Well, the last time I saw her, she whispered to me ‘How is the job hunt going’. I suspect that is her way of semi-respecting the boundary. ie she does not say it loud enough for others to hear. I replied my usual response, ‘I don’t talk about it’. And she said ‘OK, but when you do get a job, do I get a hint that you are working’. I said ‘no’. She said ‘oh please’, to which I said ‘NO’
The truth is, I have had it with her. I suspect she is one of those people who just want to help and does not get her help is not wanted. I have known her for years and do like her but I am feeling really manipulated.
I just don’t know what to do anymore