I was raised Catholic but left faith behind in college when I started to see it as irrational. Many years later, about six months ago, I decided to return to the faith after learning more about Catholicism and finding that it made more sense than I had previously thought.
Since then, I’ve been in a near constant struggle to hold onto this faith. While I find the general Catholic philosophy to be not only logical, but true based on my experience of life, there are other aspects I find problematic and as of yet I haven’t been able to reconcile them.
One is the teaching on Original Sin in light of evolutionary biology. Unless I’ve been misinformed, Original Sin is a dogma, which means the Church cannot be wrong about it or it would destroy their infallable authority. Original sin requires monogenism, that all of humanity descended from one single couple. Based on what I’ve read, this is simply not what happened. I don’t understand biology, but people who do understand biology claim that monogenism is incompatible with what we know about our biology. I even read a journal article by two Catholics - a scientist and a theologian - making this claim, that monogenism isn’t possible, yet saying that this simply means the Church needs to adjust the details of what they teach Original Sin to be. But this is a dogma - if the Church was wrong about a dogma, they lose their divine authority.
Another problem I have is more philosophical than scientific. I find it increasingly irrational that God would “work” this way, that he would make his existence not at all obvious, or that we would have no solid proof even for the story of Christ’s Resurrection. How can God hold us morally accountable for not following his will, when our understanding of his will is coming from a disgustingly corrupt human institution, and ancient documents which make all kinds of unverifiable claims that we’re supposed to accept despite the lack of corroborating evidence? I cannot bring myself to believe that God would require us to have blind faith in other people as a prerequisite to having faith in him. Much of what we understand/believe about God comes from other people, so our faith is ultimately in them - not in God.
I absolutely want to believe in God - I even want to believe in the divine authority of the Church - but my rational mind is screaming that it doesn’t add up, and I can’t keep ignoring it. Please help me.