Hi all, New here but I’m going to explain my situation and hope that some Priest or Brother can give me a bit of guidance on this, because I haven’t given my Pastor everything on it yet…well, you’ll get it.
I am 44 years old, and was raised in the Protestant church, through a plethora of varying denominations, more specifically in the Charasmatic/Pentacostal movement (my parents were in the Jesus Movement and I still think Keith Green is one of the greatest teachers ever).
In high school, I sincerely amd fervently believe that I was called to the ministry. I even applied to some Christian and Missionary Alliance colleges to begin work. I instead joined the service. Through the Navy and at age 19, I began to live a life unworthy of the Christian life. Over the course of the next 21 years, I lived the pre-Confessions life of St. Augustine, and believe me, my protestant mother played the part of St. Monica!! I still stayed close to my faith on a cursory “hands off” level, and began attending Mass and began my Catholic conversion 15 years ago.
Finally, after two broken marriages, and 3 times trying to make it through RCIA, I am in the process of coming into full communion with the Church. It pains me to pray the Spiritual Communion and Self Dedication to Jesus while in the Real Presence of Our Saviour!
So now here I am, no degree working through annulments, going through RCIA, 44 years old, and in my prayer life, and I know this voice. God is asking me, “Remember what I asked you when you were 15? I want you to be in ministry and I want you to work for me.” I’m old, and I’m running out of time and options. As I get through this, what are my possibilities. And please understand that I know the typical “Be a cantor, be a lector”. There is something more to this though, and I don’t know what it is. I haven’t heard this voice in prayer for almost 30 years.